Lingering Feelings *sigh*
From Kathie's LiveJournal:
"I was browsing Rosa's info on aim, and she built this link to her crazy sites and findings. And she posted a link to Johnson's Blogger. I haven't really spoken to Johnson since his b-day, but it's not we really talk anyway. I'm impressed with his journals, i think he writes well and is consistent. In terms of context, he follows his topic and he actually thinks about what he writes. I like the way he writes because there's a point to it, plus it's interesting."
Kathie Chung...my middle school crush...that lingered on until high school...and even after high school. My feelings for her just come and go. Come when I see her...but go when I don't. Although we hung around the same people in high school most of the time...even took pictures together and went to the Sadie Hawkins Dance 2000 together...we just didn't talk much. I mean yeah, she is my friend. A close one I might add, but when it comes to talking...it just doesn't work. Maybe it is because of my feelings towards her. She seems to talk a lot to Lorraine. They were best friends since Shively. I mean I don't know what to say to her. I wanted to get to know her, but we just didn't seem to talk much. Even now, I don't really know her...and when I read some entries in her Xanga, I am shocked that she feels the way she does. The quiet gurl who never cusses and hardly shows any emotion is a whole different person. But I never got to know that person, and that is who she really is.
So how could I like someone when I don't really know them? I don't know. Honestly, Kathie has an inncoent, adorable face. And her quiet personality really intrigued me. I don't know how many times I asked her to be with me. Probably 2 or 3 times. All rejections...and once she even called me crazy. LOL. I think I was her Steve Urkel and she was my Laura Winslow. I moved on with high school and then became a little girl crazy. Liking everyone and anyone that had long hair and boobs. LOL. Not really, but anyways, there was always just something lingering onto Kathie. I remember that for an essay in English 1 Honors with Ms. Sumrall, we had to write an essay on someone who has impacted your life and changed you or something of that sort, and I wrote my essay about Kathie. It probably was really gay, but it did get me an A-.
Sadie Hawkins 2000 was one of the best dances I been to. I don't remember taking a seat the whole night...it was just moving and dancing with Kathie. A whole different thing than our 8th grade dinner dance. I still remember that night..."Always and Forever" was playing, and it was no secret that I liked Kathie, but what I didn't know was that the whole damn grade knew about it. And I was feeling brave and I told myself "FUCK IT, JUST ASK HER TO DANCE." So that is what I did. Me in my white dress shirt and black slacks and dress shoes...Kathie was wearing this brown colored dress. She agreed to dance...probably cuz people told her to. When she finally accepted, everyone started cheering...and even the DJ who was my brothers' friend and he knew me because we chilled together at times said on the mic..."Go Johnson!" And it was embarassing to her...I was just surprised that I was dancing with her...so it didn't turn out to be such a good night, June 13, 1998. But Sadies was different. It was just a fun night...as friends.
Since 7th grade, I had always imagined going to prom with Kathie. Prom was the big thing as all the TV shows had depicted, the one night that everyone can't wait for, when regular people who wear jeans and shirts get all dressed up for that one occasion. And I had imagined that I would go with Kathie. Of course life goes on, and Junior Prom hits...I ask Lysa to go. A year passes by, and I go to prom with Lorraine. Didn't expect that to happen, but it was because Kathie liked Henry at the time, and she asked him...eventually they went together. As much as I wanted to ask her to go to prom with me, her decision was set...so I asked Lorraine. So all that imagining and dreaming about going to prom with Kathie...didn't happen. I still remember Lorraine telling me about a conversation Lysa, Lyly, and she was having while working on a school project together. About who would go to prom with who. My name came up, and Lorraine said, "I hope Johnson asks Kathie to the prom." And then Lyly said, "No, Johnson is going to prom with Lysa." (Since I went with her last year...) Didn't work out either way.
I remember talking with Jessica Requeno about anything and everything. The topic about lingering feelings came about. I was wondering if she ever liked Chris Ruiz and got the honest truth from her. Then she asked me about my feelings for Kathie. And she said something that seemed really cool. She said, "Wouldn't it be cute if you and Kathie got married?" I was like WTF? Where did that come from? And she said, "It would be cute because you liked her for all these years and to have it conclude like that would be perfect!" It would be cool for that to happen, but highly doubtful that it will...besides in order for something like that to happen, we need to talk and communicate first. LOL.
Dear Kathie,
I'm sorry that we don't talk much. I want to talk to you and get to know you, but I just don't know what to say to you. I mean it's like I want to get to know you and find things out about you, but I don't want to pry into your life. I think that maybe you know that I like you...but I don't want to make it seem that obvious. I want to talk to you more...get to know you and stuff. Change starts with someone making the first action...so I will be that person. I mean we have a good friendship, but good isn't cutting it. I'm sorry for not trying more. Thanks for enjoying my writing. I'm surprised that you acutally read what I have to say. Well, all I can say is talk to you later! Haha..=Þ
From Kathie's LiveJournal:
"I was browsing Rosa's info on aim, and she built this link to her crazy sites and findings. And she posted a link to Johnson's Blogger. I haven't really spoken to Johnson since his b-day, but it's not we really talk anyway. I'm impressed with his journals, i think he writes well and is consistent. In terms of context, he follows his topic and he actually thinks about what he writes. I like the way he writes because there's a point to it, plus it's interesting."
Kathie Chung...my middle school crush...that lingered on until high school...and even after high school. My feelings for her just come and go. Come when I see her...but go when I don't. Although we hung around the same people in high school most of the time...even took pictures together and went to the Sadie Hawkins Dance 2000 together...we just didn't talk much. I mean yeah, she is my friend. A close one I might add, but when it comes to talking...it just doesn't work. Maybe it is because of my feelings towards her. She seems to talk a lot to Lorraine. They were best friends since Shively. I mean I don't know what to say to her. I wanted to get to know her, but we just didn't seem to talk much. Even now, I don't really know her...and when I read some entries in her Xanga, I am shocked that she feels the way she does. The quiet gurl who never cusses and hardly shows any emotion is a whole different person. But I never got to know that person, and that is who she really is.
So how could I like someone when I don't really know them? I don't know. Honestly, Kathie has an inncoent, adorable face. And her quiet personality really intrigued me. I don't know how many times I asked her to be with me. Probably 2 or 3 times. All rejections...and once she even called me crazy. LOL. I think I was her Steve Urkel and she was my Laura Winslow. I moved on with high school and then became a little girl crazy. Liking everyone and anyone that had long hair and boobs. LOL. Not really, but anyways, there was always just something lingering onto Kathie. I remember that for an essay in English 1 Honors with Ms. Sumrall, we had to write an essay on someone who has impacted your life and changed you or something of that sort, and I wrote my essay about Kathie. It probably was really gay, but it did get me an A-.
Sadie Hawkins 2000 was one of the best dances I been to. I don't remember taking a seat the whole night...it was just moving and dancing with Kathie. A whole different thing than our 8th grade dinner dance. I still remember that night..."Always and Forever" was playing, and it was no secret that I liked Kathie, but what I didn't know was that the whole damn grade knew about it. And I was feeling brave and I told myself "FUCK IT, JUST ASK HER TO DANCE." So that is what I did. Me in my white dress shirt and black slacks and dress shoes...Kathie was wearing this brown colored dress. She agreed to dance...probably cuz people told her to. When she finally accepted, everyone started cheering...and even the DJ who was my brothers' friend and he knew me because we chilled together at times said on the mic..."Go Johnson!" And it was embarassing to her...I was just surprised that I was dancing with her...so it didn't turn out to be such a good night, June 13, 1998. But Sadies was different. It was just a fun night...as friends.
Since 7th grade, I had always imagined going to prom with Kathie. Prom was the big thing as all the TV shows had depicted, the one night that everyone can't wait for, when regular people who wear jeans and shirts get all dressed up for that one occasion. And I had imagined that I would go with Kathie. Of course life goes on, and Junior Prom hits...I ask Lysa to go. A year passes by, and I go to prom with Lorraine. Didn't expect that to happen, but it was because Kathie liked Henry at the time, and she asked him...eventually they went together. As much as I wanted to ask her to go to prom with me, her decision was set...so I asked Lorraine. So all that imagining and dreaming about going to prom with Kathie...didn't happen. I still remember Lorraine telling me about a conversation Lysa, Lyly, and she was having while working on a school project together. About who would go to prom with who. My name came up, and Lorraine said, "I hope Johnson asks Kathie to the prom." And then Lyly said, "No, Johnson is going to prom with Lysa." (Since I went with her last year...) Didn't work out either way.
I remember talking with Jessica Requeno about anything and everything. The topic about lingering feelings came about. I was wondering if she ever liked Chris Ruiz and got the honest truth from her. Then she asked me about my feelings for Kathie. And she said something that seemed really cool. She said, "Wouldn't it be cute if you and Kathie got married?" I was like WTF? Where did that come from? And she said, "It would be cute because you liked her for all these years and to have it conclude like that would be perfect!" It would be cool for that to happen, but highly doubtful that it will...besides in order for something like that to happen, we need to talk and communicate first. LOL.
Dear Kathie,
I'm sorry that we don't talk much. I want to talk to you and get to know you, but I just don't know what to say to you. I mean it's like I want to get to know you and find things out about you, but I don't want to pry into your life. I think that maybe you know that I like you...but I don't want to make it seem that obvious. I want to talk to you more...get to know you and stuff. Change starts with someone making the first action...so I will be that person. I mean we have a good friendship, but good isn't cutting it. I'm sorry for not trying more. Thanks for enjoying my writing. I'm surprised that you acutally read what I have to say. Well, all I can say is talk to you later! Haha..=Þ
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home