This essay got me a B. The teacher uses contratgrading, where your grade is determined on a portfolio rather than the essay itself. My portfolio was not quite complete which resulted in the B. If I had done all the work, I would have recieved an A on this portfolio. My essay would have recieved an "A." Oh well. Enjoy!
The Self-Confidence Experiment
“Hello.”
That is a statement that is short and tends to begin every conversation. One word, one meaning. Simple enough to say right? Sure. It gets kind of tricky when you have to say it to a female. My knees shake just by thinking about it. You hear this line everywhere you go. When you talk on your phone, the first thing you say is “Hello.” How can something that is so universal and short be so hard to say especially to someone of the other sex? It all comes down to one thing, how much confidence you have in yourself.
There are many movies that have a scene where the guy tries to get the girl, whether it is a sappy romantic comedy or an action packed film with tons of special effects. The pick-up lines range from corny to puke into a bucket corny. “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.” Lines like those work for people like Bond, James Bond, but not for a regular, average guy like me. If I used a line like that, I would possibly get laughed at right in front of my face plus losing the five bucks for the drink as well.
It is pretty obvious that I do not have confidence in myself. If I was in that situation, my first problem would be saying, “Hello.” The problem? I wouldn’t. Not because I don’t want to, but because I am afraid to. Call it fear of rejection or call it being a complete wimp, but I am not the type of person who can be open and lay myself on the line just to say a simple hello. It scares me, especially saying it to a female.
Speaking of females, there is a girl in one of my classes. I think she is really pretty. I always have, since day one. There is just something about her that stands out from the rest of the females in the class. I just can never say anything to her. Not even a simple, “Hi!” When she asks me a question, I just freeze up, and am no help to her. I all ready know what is going to happen when she initiates the greeting. I have it all mapped out in my head. She will walk into the class and see me because I sit right behind her. She will smile at me, a friendly gesture, and say the most dreaded word in the human language…hello. I want to tell her that I think she is one of the most beautiful girls I have ever met, but instead of saying that or just reply back with a hi, I will muster up enough courage to come out and say, ”Uhhh…hrmh,” blushing along the way. Now how am I supposed to tell her how pretty I think she is when saying hello is such a challenge? I guess she will never know what I think. She isn’t the first and she won’t be the last. I am good at holding everything in.
I have always held in my feelings for girls. Whenever I liked someone, I would never tell them. I could barely talk to them if I didn’t lose my voice when they were talking to me. I am not afraid of girls, it’s just that I don’t feel like I am good enough to talk to them, and I often question why they would want to talk to someone like me. It is kind of sad, I know, but that is my life. If I had more self-confidence, then saying, “Hello” to a person of the opposite sex wouldn’t be so hard for me. And you have to start somewhere, right?
Let’s back track a little bit and see why I am the way I am. Well, I am 6’00” and 260lbs. My sign is an Aries and I like long walks on the beach. I feel like I am writing one of those personals you find on the Classified ads on the newspaper. (Not by personal experience…so I’ve heard.) I was always “big” growing up. I was overweight and have been throughout my life. As a little kid, I got teased a lot by everyone. I wasn’t the only one, but the main reason why they picked on me was because they thought I was a bully based upon my appearance. They stopped picking one me because I was a nice kid with a great personality. I didn’t really defend myself, but I decided that I would be nice to them regardless, and then I became a gentle giant, sort of like Mikey from the cartoon “Recess.” Later on, I learned to defend myself whenever someone would call me names. I had to because this didn’t stop until later. I would pick out one or some of their traits that stood out and make fun of them back. It was more for respect than to really insult them. It worked for me, but the damage was done, and now here we are to the present.
I figured that speaking to girls in person would be harder than speaking to them online. So to experiment for myself, I decided to join one of those online dating match sites. I joined ______________.com. This could really help me with my self confidence, but the first thing that I had to do when I signed up for it was to describe myself. If you don’t have good self-esteem about yourself, it is hard to describe yourself in a manner in which to attract the opposite sex. It isn’t just describing yourself; it's describing yourself in 1,000 characters. Goodness gracious! 1,000 characters? I can’t even describe myself in 10 words let alone 1,000 characters, but I eventually did it. It was a challenge, but I did it.
All this work just for wanting to say a simple hello to a person of the opposite gender, and I found out that it is just as hard to say hi through an email. You have to say hi except without any personality because they can’t hear your voice. They just read your words. So you have better got something else to catch their attention. I decided to wait a week and see if I would receive any messages. I received a grand total of zero messages. (Equal world my foot! Females can get jobs that were once for men and be a part in professional sports, but they still expect you to make the first move.) So I did. I sent out five messages to five females who caught my attention. I used something witty and quirky along with the greeting, and four of them replied back to me. This was really cool. It turns out that the witty greeting work, and is what made them want to respond, along with my funny profile. They thought I was pretty cute and good looking. I didn’t want to find love online, I just wanted to build up some confidence by saying hi through the computer instead of in person. You have to start somewhere, right? It worked, and I got four new friends out of this experiment. Four out of five isn’t that bad!
This experiment that I tried really helped me a little in building up my self-confidence, but it will take a while before I think I will be able to do it in person. In my eyes, I am an ugly duckling who will never change into the swan. Friends told me I was a good looking fellow, but friends tend to sugar coat the truth to spare your feelings because of the friendship. Strangers tend to be more honest because they don’t really know you and there is no friendship involved.
I have to keep working on my self confidence because if saying hi is this hard, then how will I ever be able to maintain a relationship in the future? I know I don’t want to be an old, lonely hermit. So if I don’t try to make things better now, that is probably where I am headed. Maybe I should start changing my attitude and gain some more confidence. Maybe I should just tell that girl, “Hello, I think you are very pretty!” What’s the harm in a little compliment? There is none, but everything starts with a “Hello.”
Oh, and I did tell that girl what I thought about her. It was nerve wrecking, but I did it.
“Hello.”
That is a statement that is short and tends to begin every conversation. One word, one meaning. Simple enough to say right? Sure. It gets kind of tricky when you have to say it to a female. My knees shake just by thinking about it. You hear this line everywhere you go. When you talk on your phone, the first thing you say is “Hello.” How can something that is so universal and short be so hard to say especially to someone of the other sex? It all comes down to one thing, how much confidence you have in yourself.
There are many movies that have a scene where the guy tries to get the girl, whether it is a sappy romantic comedy or an action packed film with tons of special effects. The pick-up lines range from corny to puke into a bucket corny. “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.” Lines like those work for people like Bond, James Bond, but not for a regular, average guy like me. If I used a line like that, I would possibly get laughed at right in front of my face plus losing the five bucks for the drink as well.
It is pretty obvious that I do not have confidence in myself. If I was in that situation, my first problem would be saying, “Hello.” The problem? I wouldn’t. Not because I don’t want to, but because I am afraid to. Call it fear of rejection or call it being a complete wimp, but I am not the type of person who can be open and lay myself on the line just to say a simple hello. It scares me, especially saying it to a female.
Speaking of females, there is a girl in one of my classes. I think she is really pretty. I always have, since day one. There is just something about her that stands out from the rest of the females in the class. I just can never say anything to her. Not even a simple, “Hi!” When she asks me a question, I just freeze up, and am no help to her. I all ready know what is going to happen when she initiates the greeting. I have it all mapped out in my head. She will walk into the class and see me because I sit right behind her. She will smile at me, a friendly gesture, and say the most dreaded word in the human language…hello. I want to tell her that I think she is one of the most beautiful girls I have ever met, but instead of saying that or just reply back with a hi, I will muster up enough courage to come out and say, ”Uhhh…hrmh,” blushing along the way. Now how am I supposed to tell her how pretty I think she is when saying hello is such a challenge? I guess she will never know what I think. She isn’t the first and she won’t be the last. I am good at holding everything in.
I have always held in my feelings for girls. Whenever I liked someone, I would never tell them. I could barely talk to them if I didn’t lose my voice when they were talking to me. I am not afraid of girls, it’s just that I don’t feel like I am good enough to talk to them, and I often question why they would want to talk to someone like me. It is kind of sad, I know, but that is my life. If I had more self-confidence, then saying, “Hello” to a person of the opposite sex wouldn’t be so hard for me. And you have to start somewhere, right?
Let’s back track a little bit and see why I am the way I am. Well, I am 6’00” and 260lbs. My sign is an Aries and I like long walks on the beach. I feel like I am writing one of those personals you find on the Classified ads on the newspaper. (Not by personal experience…so I’ve heard.) I was always “big” growing up. I was overweight and have been throughout my life. As a little kid, I got teased a lot by everyone. I wasn’t the only one, but the main reason why they picked on me was because they thought I was a bully based upon my appearance. They stopped picking one me because I was a nice kid with a great personality. I didn’t really defend myself, but I decided that I would be nice to them regardless, and then I became a gentle giant, sort of like Mikey from the cartoon “Recess.” Later on, I learned to defend myself whenever someone would call me names. I had to because this didn’t stop until later. I would pick out one or some of their traits that stood out and make fun of them back. It was more for respect than to really insult them. It worked for me, but the damage was done, and now here we are to the present.
I figured that speaking to girls in person would be harder than speaking to them online. So to experiment for myself, I decided to join one of those online dating match sites. I joined ______________.com. This could really help me with my self confidence, but the first thing that I had to do when I signed up for it was to describe myself. If you don’t have good self-esteem about yourself, it is hard to describe yourself in a manner in which to attract the opposite sex. It isn’t just describing yourself; it's describing yourself in 1,000 characters. Goodness gracious! 1,000 characters? I can’t even describe myself in 10 words let alone 1,000 characters, but I eventually did it. It was a challenge, but I did it.
All this work just for wanting to say a simple hello to a person of the opposite gender, and I found out that it is just as hard to say hi through an email. You have to say hi except without any personality because they can’t hear your voice. They just read your words. So you have better got something else to catch their attention. I decided to wait a week and see if I would receive any messages. I received a grand total of zero messages. (Equal world my foot! Females can get jobs that were once for men and be a part in professional sports, but they still expect you to make the first move.) So I did. I sent out five messages to five females who caught my attention. I used something witty and quirky along with the greeting, and four of them replied back to me. This was really cool. It turns out that the witty greeting work, and is what made them want to respond, along with my funny profile. They thought I was pretty cute and good looking. I didn’t want to find love online, I just wanted to build up some confidence by saying hi through the computer instead of in person. You have to start somewhere, right? It worked, and I got four new friends out of this experiment. Four out of five isn’t that bad!
This experiment that I tried really helped me a little in building up my self-confidence, but it will take a while before I think I will be able to do it in person. In my eyes, I am an ugly duckling who will never change into the swan. Friends told me I was a good looking fellow, but friends tend to sugar coat the truth to spare your feelings because of the friendship. Strangers tend to be more honest because they don’t really know you and there is no friendship involved.
I have to keep working on my self confidence because if saying hi is this hard, then how will I ever be able to maintain a relationship in the future? I know I don’t want to be an old, lonely hermit. So if I don’t try to make things better now, that is probably where I am headed. Maybe I should start changing my attitude and gain some more confidence. Maybe I should just tell that girl, “Hello, I think you are very pretty!” What’s the harm in a little compliment? There is none, but everything starts with a “Hello.”
Oh, and I did tell that girl what I thought about her. It was nerve wrecking, but I did it.
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