In Response to: Lingering Feelings *sigh*
Dearest Johnson,
In response to your letter and entry, I just want to THANK YOU, for being a good friend to me for nine years.
Actually, now that I think of it may be more than that. Cuz I remember knowing of you back in 3rd through 5th grade. See, even then you were quite popular. Well, by 4th grade I knew of you because of Kami. I remember she would talk of you and your gang. And I remember that David, Tri, and Roy was in my class. And Kami had a huge crush on Tri until she left in 6th grade. So I remember on several occassions that you guys were in our conversations. And I believe you were in Ms. Wright's class, right? I just knew that were the chubby tall asian kid with thick eyeglasses, named Johnson. Sorry, I can't give much detail other than. LOL I remember in 6th grade, that was the year that crazy changes were going on and I was building a great friendships with Karen, Kami, and Me. The KKK's. So after knowing them more that's when I started to know you more and the rest of you guys. I remember we would always walk around the field alot and you guys would play chase after us. Or it could have been the other way around, I don't know. But if was, it was either Kami or Karen's idea. Or because Kami liked Tri so much. And I just followed along. Then, by 7th grade, things started to get even crazier. We had the same classes. Those were the good ol' days. Remember how you would always copy my stuff, especially the summaries for that Mayan story book, and you type it for me because you had done something wrong. I don't know what but I remember that I was so suprised that you type it all up. I may have been upset at you. haha
On a different note, that one day, not "the day", but when I was sitting in class and I heard someone say my name. I heard it from your direction, and it was that girl, Valerie, who was whispering something. I looked over and she was smiling and I saw you beside her. I was like ok, wierdos. But then she said, ' Johnson likes Kathie.' I was shocked and embarassed, because I didn't know anybody that had ever liked me before. And I thought that she was just playing around. Seriously, you were the first and may be the only one that I know of. It was strange and awkward then. And knowing how many people then who were hooking up or holding hands for weeks for the fun of it, I knew right then that something funny and wierd was going to happen. The day you asked me, even when I didn't know, for some reason I had a feeling and I didn't want to go the recess. There were hints and clues. I am sorry that I didn't accept or didn't respond nicely as I should have. I was too shocked and I felt like there was too much pressure during that time. The only thing I was worrying about was school and homework; I was 12 and it never occured to me that when someone had share thier thoughts or feelings about that person to that person, that it would be such a huge impact until you had asked me. I felt so awful and stupid and I hated myself for doing that. I didn't know exactly what to do. I was confused, as shy and quiet as I was, I was like why would he like me. I never say much so how can he just tell me that he likes me. We didn't talk that much and I wasn't sure if we were even friends. I felt a little uncomfortable and I wasn't sure if could ever trust you ever again. I felt horrible and I thought that we would never be friends after that. For awhile, there was tension or just plain avoidance going on, even until 8th grade and then again in 9th grade. By then, I had sense of resentment towards you for making it difficult for us talking, exchange a gretting or even a smile. But I know that you felt the same way towards me. I can't blame you. I was glad that by the summer of 9th grade, things were changing for the better. I was happy that you had sent me that birthday letter and we went to watch the Truman Show. Thank you again.
Everything and anything that happened during hs, I'm sure were happy moments between us. I'm sorry I can't explain or describe them now, but I'm sure you remember them well. Since you have a great memory. Hehe. By then, I felt like it was time to move on and get over it what happened in the past and just continue to be good friends. And of course, I noticed and heard of your numerous crushes on certain girls, and I was happy for you.
High school was important in my life, but it came and went, and now college and work and antipication for what comes in the near and far future is important now. I know but I will hope that our relationship between will not be distant.
It was a little strange to me at first, but you didn't have to apologize for not talking to me, but since you did, I must do the same as well. Just to be on the same level, I'm sorry too for being resevered and not talking to you as a friend should.
I don't know how you will respond to this letter. I think you might be overwhelmed, just like when I read yours. I was happy too but I don't want to disrupt anything between us for not saying anything or not clearly. I think it best to say it clear, I want to continue having a friendship with love and trust. You may interpret this in many ways, but for now this is what I feel.
Dearest Johnson,
In response to your letter and entry, I just want to THANK YOU, for being a good friend to me for nine years.
Actually, now that I think of it may be more than that. Cuz I remember knowing of you back in 3rd through 5th grade. See, even then you were quite popular. Well, by 4th grade I knew of you because of Kami. I remember she would talk of you and your gang. And I remember that David, Tri, and Roy was in my class. And Kami had a huge crush on Tri until she left in 6th grade. So I remember on several occassions that you guys were in our conversations. And I believe you were in Ms. Wright's class, right? I just knew that were the chubby tall asian kid with thick eyeglasses, named Johnson. Sorry, I can't give much detail other than. LOL I remember in 6th grade, that was the year that crazy changes were going on and I was building a great friendships with Karen, Kami, and Me. The KKK's. So after knowing them more that's when I started to know you more and the rest of you guys. I remember we would always walk around the field alot and you guys would play chase after us. Or it could have been the other way around, I don't know. But if was, it was either Kami or Karen's idea. Or because Kami liked Tri so much. And I just followed along. Then, by 7th grade, things started to get even crazier. We had the same classes. Those were the good ol' days. Remember how you would always copy my stuff, especially the summaries for that Mayan story book, and you type it for me because you had done something wrong. I don't know what but I remember that I was so suprised that you type it all up. I may have been upset at you. haha
On a different note, that one day, not "the day", but when I was sitting in class and I heard someone say my name. I heard it from your direction, and it was that girl, Valerie, who was whispering something. I looked over and she was smiling and I saw you beside her. I was like ok, wierdos. But then she said, ' Johnson likes Kathie.' I was shocked and embarassed, because I didn't know anybody that had ever liked me before. And I thought that she was just playing around. Seriously, you were the first and may be the only one that I know of. It was strange and awkward then. And knowing how many people then who were hooking up or holding hands for weeks for the fun of it, I knew right then that something funny and wierd was going to happen. The day you asked me, even when I didn't know, for some reason I had a feeling and I didn't want to go the recess. There were hints and clues. I am sorry that I didn't accept or didn't respond nicely as I should have. I was too shocked and I felt like there was too much pressure during that time. The only thing I was worrying about was school and homework; I was 12 and it never occured to me that when someone had share thier thoughts or feelings about that person to that person, that it would be such a huge impact until you had asked me. I felt so awful and stupid and I hated myself for doing that. I didn't know exactly what to do. I was confused, as shy and quiet as I was, I was like why would he like me. I never say much so how can he just tell me that he likes me. We didn't talk that much and I wasn't sure if we were even friends. I felt a little uncomfortable and I wasn't sure if could ever trust you ever again. I felt horrible and I thought that we would never be friends after that. For awhile, there was tension or just plain avoidance going on, even until 8th grade and then again in 9th grade. By then, I had sense of resentment towards you for making it difficult for us talking, exchange a gretting or even a smile. But I know that you felt the same way towards me. I can't blame you. I was glad that by the summer of 9th grade, things were changing for the better. I was happy that you had sent me that birthday letter and we went to watch the Truman Show. Thank you again.
Everything and anything that happened during hs, I'm sure were happy moments between us. I'm sorry I can't explain or describe them now, but I'm sure you remember them well. Since you have a great memory. Hehe. By then, I felt like it was time to move on and get over it what happened in the past and just continue to be good friends. And of course, I noticed and heard of your numerous crushes on certain girls, and I was happy for you.
High school was important in my life, but it came and went, and now college and work and antipication for what comes in the near and far future is important now. I know but I will hope that our relationship between will not be distant.
It was a little strange to me at first, but you didn't have to apologize for not talking to me, but since you did, I must do the same as well. Just to be on the same level, I'm sorry too for being resevered and not talking to you as a friend should.
I don't know how you will respond to this letter. I think you might be overwhelmed, just like when I read yours. I was happy too but I don't want to disrupt anything between us for not saying anything or not clearly. I think it best to say it clear, I want to continue having a friendship with love and trust. You may interpret this in many ways, but for now this is what I feel.
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