College Dropout?
It seems to look that way. School seems to be pointless to me and every day that passes...I feel less and less inspired to go. School is now over at Fullerton. It has been for about a week or two, but school ended a lot sooner for me than it did for anyone else. I stopped going since Spring Break. Well I would wake up and get ready for school. Reach school and not show up to class. I would just go to the library and fall asleep or use the computer if I wasn't that tired. And to stop kidding myself and waking up to get ready to go to a school that I didn't even attend my classes I just stopped going like 3 weeks before the semester was over. So close yet so far. All right, now wipe away the shocked look on your face. School is just so boring and bullshit. And what really sucks about it, is that the things I want to do require a freaking degree. I know most of you who know me will blame my failure in school due to work. I work too much and too late to do well in school, and maybe that is the case, but I know really well that if I wanted to, I could handle work and school. If I wanted to be there I would choose to work less or at least the hours taht I need to get me a passing grade. This is more than just me working. It started even before the school year started. I was never inspired to go to school in the first place.
College was a new and exciting part of my life. I mean what do you do after high school? After they call your name and you recieve that piece of paper that opens a new chapter in your life, what do you do? College right? Well for some people, yes. For me, I had no choice. It was college, and not just any college...a freaking 4-year school. I personally wanted to go to a JC and then rransfer...save me money and time, but since my two brothers didn't graduate/walk and then went to a JC, my parents wanted me to go to a 4-year institution. Lucky me. So Cal State Fullerton, here I go. And I did all right in my first semester. Second semester, due to some events that occurred in my life, led me to drop a lot of my classes. Third semester, I had nothing to do except school so that year I did exceptionally well. And now on my 4th year, I did not want to go back. I went, did my best to get a schedule I liked, but I just hated going to school there. Every time I was in a class I was counting down til that class was over and soon enough when I was able to go home. I don't know what I am doing there...except wasting money.
My problem is that I never decided to go to school for myself. It was always to please other people. I think it is because I never had time to think about it and figure out why I am choosing to go to school. Find a reason for myself rather than just to please friends(since they are going, I should too), parents and brothers. Two years at Fullerton and I still don't know what I am going to major in. I want to teach, but I don't know what subject. And that also means a degree. I know I will be a great U.S. History teacher, but I don't know...the school just seems pointless. And frankly, I don't know what else I want to do. I remember that I didn't like Math so I tried to find majors without anymore Math classes besides the required GE Math. Now I don't like school, so do I find something that doesn't involve school as well?
Before you feel like you have to lecture me about going back to school. I am going to attempt another semester at Fullerton. It is just too far. I think the only way for me to excell in school is to live closer to it so I can be involved in it. That would make things and school a lot better. Gotta move out....we'll see.
It seems to look that way. School seems to be pointless to me and every day that passes...I feel less and less inspired to go. School is now over at Fullerton. It has been for about a week or two, but school ended a lot sooner for me than it did for anyone else. I stopped going since Spring Break. Well I would wake up and get ready for school. Reach school and not show up to class. I would just go to the library and fall asleep or use the computer if I wasn't that tired. And to stop kidding myself and waking up to get ready to go to a school that I didn't even attend my classes I just stopped going like 3 weeks before the semester was over. So close yet so far. All right, now wipe away the shocked look on your face. School is just so boring and bullshit. And what really sucks about it, is that the things I want to do require a freaking degree. I know most of you who know me will blame my failure in school due to work. I work too much and too late to do well in school, and maybe that is the case, but I know really well that if I wanted to, I could handle work and school. If I wanted to be there I would choose to work less or at least the hours taht I need to get me a passing grade. This is more than just me working. It started even before the school year started. I was never inspired to go to school in the first place.
College was a new and exciting part of my life. I mean what do you do after high school? After they call your name and you recieve that piece of paper that opens a new chapter in your life, what do you do? College right? Well for some people, yes. For me, I had no choice. It was college, and not just any college...a freaking 4-year school. I personally wanted to go to a JC and then rransfer...save me money and time, but since my two brothers didn't graduate/walk and then went to a JC, my parents wanted me to go to a 4-year institution. Lucky me. So Cal State Fullerton, here I go. And I did all right in my first semester. Second semester, due to some events that occurred in my life, led me to drop a lot of my classes. Third semester, I had nothing to do except school so that year I did exceptionally well. And now on my 4th year, I did not want to go back. I went, did my best to get a schedule I liked, but I just hated going to school there. Every time I was in a class I was counting down til that class was over and soon enough when I was able to go home. I don't know what I am doing there...except wasting money.
My problem is that I never decided to go to school for myself. It was always to please other people. I think it is because I never had time to think about it and figure out why I am choosing to go to school. Find a reason for myself rather than just to please friends(since they are going, I should too), parents and brothers. Two years at Fullerton and I still don't know what I am going to major in. I want to teach, but I don't know what subject. And that also means a degree. I know I will be a great U.S. History teacher, but I don't know...the school just seems pointless. And frankly, I don't know what else I want to do. I remember that I didn't like Math so I tried to find majors without anymore Math classes besides the required GE Math. Now I don't like school, so do I find something that doesn't involve school as well?
Before you feel like you have to lecture me about going back to school. I am going to attempt another semester at Fullerton. It is just too far. I think the only way for me to excell in school is to live closer to it so I can be involved in it. That would make things and school a lot better. Gotta move out....we'll see.
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