Dear Alej...
Dear Alej,
It has been a year since we have met and a year since I have liked you. It's almost been a year since we last seen eachother, but that still did not stop my feelings for you. From the beginning when I saw you, I knew that there was something about you. I couldn't pinpoint anything at the time, but it was something that caught my attention. I mean you were new and I didn't know you, but for some reason, I wanted to get to know you. It was weird...I just knew that I would like you...just like how I knew that Stephanie and I would be friends. It was just a feeling. So on your first day, I decided to introduce myself to you and the other new people well because of you. I know it sounds dumb, but it was true...and from that point on, I was hooked. After that, because we didn't have the same shifts, me being a night person and you working during the day, we hardly saw eachother, but whenever we did happen to overlap schedules once in a while, you would always say "hi" to me. Then you would go home, and I would start working, but that "hi" just made my night better. I never told anyone this, but they would always wonder why I was in such a good mood closing on some nights and it was because of you.
Then by chance or because I decided to work Friday mornings and Omar actually gave it to me, we started to work the same shifts on Fridays and I got to know you a lot better. And my feelings for you started to grow. I wanted to ask you to go watch a movie, but was afraid of rejection...so I always just held off on it, but I don't remember when I just said forget it and asked you to watch a movie with me and you actually said yes. I was so nervous that night...going home and getting ready and all dressed up just to go watch a movie with you...we watched The Day After Tomorrow that night and that was when i met your sister. She was the sprinkles on the ice cream because she was just too cute, and I got to see how great of a sister you were to her. After that, everything was a blur. I don't know how I became so bold as to ask you out to do things, movies, ice skating(which I am still suppose to take your sister to), and other things, but I did, and trust me, those were the best times of my life. I remember just going to visit you at work and eating some ice cream together. Something so simple. From eating at Island's, watching various movies, and eating during our breaks, to me it was perfect.
I can honestly say that that was the best summer I ever had. I was always too chicken to tell you that I like you, but I think you knew because well it was kind of obvious. I was surprised that you went out with me and hung out with me because I heard later on that Daniel asked you to hang out and you didn't, maybe because you were busy or something, but just hearing that made me think that I was special and I felt that you somehow someway developed feelings for me as well.
All that changed during our trip to Universal Studios. It was fun and everything, but as we were going up the escalators, you got a phone call from someone, and as it turned out, it was a guy you were "talking" to. I was crushed...Again maybe I read the signs wrong, and I don't like to be the other guy. I usually don't like people who are dating someone else, so I tend to back off. My feelings for that person seems to go away, but for some reason it didn't. I still liked you. And I didn't want to just give up…maybe if I didn't you would realize that you liked me more, and I was better off for you. Besides, you two were only "talking."
Well I guess after it all, summer had to end sometime. You had left your two weeks notice so you were gone from the theater, and I saw you less, then you had to go to Washington for your cousin's wedding, and after that I lost contact with you. You were also starting new at Riverside, having transferred there and starting school soon. I totally forgot about getting you that Pink UCR sweater, until my friend reminded me.
I remember trying to make last ditch efforts to hang out with you before you flew away...even booking a date to watch the Princess Diaries 2 at the El Capitan Theater...I got two tiaras, one for you and one for your sister...but I scheduled it on the wrong day...the day you left to the airport...after that...you were gone, and I tried to call you to talk to you but that didn't work...and soon after...we lost contact...I lost you. But I couldn't get over you...as hard as I tried, and just when I was about to lose faith, fate would come to i guess reunite us.
I am a firm believer in fate, but then again what happened, could have been luck as well. I remember getting a phone call from Candy one night. She said, "Guess who's number I got for you?" I asked, "Who?" not knowing where she was going with it, but inside I was hoping she would say Maria. And she did. And this just left me in shock. Call it fate...call it luck, but as it turns out of all places you could have went to, you decided to go to the Santa Anita Mall on Thanksgiving Break with your sister. Around the same time that Phuc just barely got hired at Cinnabon. Your sister wanted a Cinnabon around the time when Phuc was scheduled to work...and you recognized him, well, because we hung out. I mean what were the chances of that happening exactly at around the same time...maybe I look too much into things such as coincidence, but it is just trippy how it all flows. Especially since we lost contact with eachother and you losing your phone plus your numbers. Not knowing that I was released at Edward's, but eventually we somehow reconnected.
I remember being so shocked that I had your number in my notepad...a way of getting a hold of you and talking to you...and I remember I was debating with myself not to call you. I mean I was doing all right when we couldn't and didn't talk to eachother, and I was going to move on, but then this happens...should I or shouldn't I? You were my biggest crush of the summer and possibly my life...the summer of my life...and I was actually debating whether or not to call you. I was up for a very long time...and in the end I decided to call you because I wanted to know what happened plus I still liked you.
We talked and caught up, but that was all. And more months pass, without us communicating and I think this is where I made my biggest mistake...maybe it is because I didn't call or contact you that you talked to your current b/f more, or maybe your decision was to always get with your current b/f. I will never know the answer. Seeing you and hanging out with you at Medieval Times was fun, and I had a very good time, just seeing you again and talking with you, just like it used to be back then. Once again I was crushed hearing you had a b/f, but I made the best of the situation. I mean the only thing I could do was just enjoy the moment with you. Just to be in your company. In my mind, I feel that you are with the wrong guy. Maybe I am saying that because I feel that It should be me who gets to hold you and gets to call you my girlfriend. Once again because I don't tell someone I like them, I am passed over and now hurting and just watching from the sidelines. I am not trying to or attempting to break you two apart in any way, shape, or form, that is the last thing I want to do, because you seem happy with him.
I don't know how happy you are with him, but as long as you are happy, I am just going to accept it. I cannot say that I am happy that you are happy, because i want to be the person you are happy with. And if I said it, it would just be a lie. It was so good to hear your voice when I called you, and hearing you say that you still have the picture of us at Universal and you look at it and hearing you say that you miss me, made me think that I still had time...until I heard you say that you had a b/f. Not me. I feel that no matter what, somehow, we are suppose to be together. Maybe not now, but somehow...I remember I was trying to fix my schedule so if we did "hook up" during the summer, Riverside was not going to stop me from seeing you. I planned how the long distance thing would work. I would be working on weekdays and going to UCR every weekend to see you and be with you. Personally, I feel Fate has us two being together...I want to be right, but usually I am wrong, so if there is anytime for my luck to change, I hope it is now. If I am wrong...well you made my life a little brighter by just being you and by being in it...I hope you have a great life and are happy. And if anything, you will still have a friend in me.
It's done...finally another closed chapter in my life...
Dear Alej,
It has been a year since we have met and a year since I have liked you. It's almost been a year since we last seen eachother, but that still did not stop my feelings for you. From the beginning when I saw you, I knew that there was something about you. I couldn't pinpoint anything at the time, but it was something that caught my attention. I mean you were new and I didn't know you, but for some reason, I wanted to get to know you. It was weird...I just knew that I would like you...just like how I knew that Stephanie and I would be friends. It was just a feeling. So on your first day, I decided to introduce myself to you and the other new people well because of you. I know it sounds dumb, but it was true...and from that point on, I was hooked. After that, because we didn't have the same shifts, me being a night person and you working during the day, we hardly saw eachother, but whenever we did happen to overlap schedules once in a while, you would always say "hi" to me. Then you would go home, and I would start working, but that "hi" just made my night better. I never told anyone this, but they would always wonder why I was in such a good mood closing on some nights and it was because of you.
Then by chance or because I decided to work Friday mornings and Omar actually gave it to me, we started to work the same shifts on Fridays and I got to know you a lot better. And my feelings for you started to grow. I wanted to ask you to go watch a movie, but was afraid of rejection...so I always just held off on it, but I don't remember when I just said forget it and asked you to watch a movie with me and you actually said yes. I was so nervous that night...going home and getting ready and all dressed up just to go watch a movie with you...we watched The Day After Tomorrow that night and that was when i met your sister. She was the sprinkles on the ice cream because she was just too cute, and I got to see how great of a sister you were to her. After that, everything was a blur. I don't know how I became so bold as to ask you out to do things, movies, ice skating(which I am still suppose to take your sister to), and other things, but I did, and trust me, those were the best times of my life. I remember just going to visit you at work and eating some ice cream together. Something so simple. From eating at Island's, watching various movies, and eating during our breaks, to me it was perfect.
I can honestly say that that was the best summer I ever had. I was always too chicken to tell you that I like you, but I think you knew because well it was kind of obvious. I was surprised that you went out with me and hung out with me because I heard later on that Daniel asked you to hang out and you didn't, maybe because you were busy or something, but just hearing that made me think that I was special and I felt that you somehow someway developed feelings for me as well.
All that changed during our trip to Universal Studios. It was fun and everything, but as we were going up the escalators, you got a phone call from someone, and as it turned out, it was a guy you were "talking" to. I was crushed...Again maybe I read the signs wrong, and I don't like to be the other guy. I usually don't like people who are dating someone else, so I tend to back off. My feelings for that person seems to go away, but for some reason it didn't. I still liked you. And I didn't want to just give up…maybe if I didn't you would realize that you liked me more, and I was better off for you. Besides, you two were only "talking."
Well I guess after it all, summer had to end sometime. You had left your two weeks notice so you were gone from the theater, and I saw you less, then you had to go to Washington for your cousin's wedding, and after that I lost contact with you. You were also starting new at Riverside, having transferred there and starting school soon. I totally forgot about getting you that Pink UCR sweater, until my friend reminded me.
I remember trying to make last ditch efforts to hang out with you before you flew away...even booking a date to watch the Princess Diaries 2 at the El Capitan Theater...I got two tiaras, one for you and one for your sister...but I scheduled it on the wrong day...the day you left to the airport...after that...you were gone, and I tried to call you to talk to you but that didn't work...and soon after...we lost contact...I lost you. But I couldn't get over you...as hard as I tried, and just when I was about to lose faith, fate would come to i guess reunite us.
I am a firm believer in fate, but then again what happened, could have been luck as well. I remember getting a phone call from Candy one night. She said, "Guess who's number I got for you?" I asked, "Who?" not knowing where she was going with it, but inside I was hoping she would say Maria. And she did. And this just left me in shock. Call it fate...call it luck, but as it turns out of all places you could have went to, you decided to go to the Santa Anita Mall on Thanksgiving Break with your sister. Around the same time that Phuc just barely got hired at Cinnabon. Your sister wanted a Cinnabon around the time when Phuc was scheduled to work...and you recognized him, well, because we hung out. I mean what were the chances of that happening exactly at around the same time...maybe I look too much into things such as coincidence, but it is just trippy how it all flows. Especially since we lost contact with eachother and you losing your phone plus your numbers. Not knowing that I was released at Edward's, but eventually we somehow reconnected.
I remember being so shocked that I had your number in my notepad...a way of getting a hold of you and talking to you...and I remember I was debating with myself not to call you. I mean I was doing all right when we couldn't and didn't talk to eachother, and I was going to move on, but then this happens...should I or shouldn't I? You were my biggest crush of the summer and possibly my life...the summer of my life...and I was actually debating whether or not to call you. I was up for a very long time...and in the end I decided to call you because I wanted to know what happened plus I still liked you.
We talked and caught up, but that was all. And more months pass, without us communicating and I think this is where I made my biggest mistake...maybe it is because I didn't call or contact you that you talked to your current b/f more, or maybe your decision was to always get with your current b/f. I will never know the answer. Seeing you and hanging out with you at Medieval Times was fun, and I had a very good time, just seeing you again and talking with you, just like it used to be back then. Once again I was crushed hearing you had a b/f, but I made the best of the situation. I mean the only thing I could do was just enjoy the moment with you. Just to be in your company. In my mind, I feel that you are with the wrong guy. Maybe I am saying that because I feel that It should be me who gets to hold you and gets to call you my girlfriend. Once again because I don't tell someone I like them, I am passed over and now hurting and just watching from the sidelines. I am not trying to or attempting to break you two apart in any way, shape, or form, that is the last thing I want to do, because you seem happy with him.
I don't know how happy you are with him, but as long as you are happy, I am just going to accept it. I cannot say that I am happy that you are happy, because i want to be the person you are happy with. And if I said it, it would just be a lie. It was so good to hear your voice when I called you, and hearing you say that you still have the picture of us at Universal and you look at it and hearing you say that you miss me, made me think that I still had time...until I heard you say that you had a b/f. Not me. I feel that no matter what, somehow, we are suppose to be together. Maybe not now, but somehow...I remember I was trying to fix my schedule so if we did "hook up" during the summer, Riverside was not going to stop me from seeing you. I planned how the long distance thing would work. I would be working on weekdays and going to UCR every weekend to see you and be with you. Personally, I feel Fate has us two being together...I want to be right, but usually I am wrong, so if there is anytime for my luck to change, I hope it is now. If I am wrong...well you made my life a little brighter by just being you and by being in it...I hope you have a great life and are happy. And if anything, you will still have a friend in me.
It's done...finally another closed chapter in my life...
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