Comfortable
There is this thing called comfort. It's what people like family have, boyfriends and girlfriends share, and what makes people feel safe around friends, around each other. It is a weird thing because I feel comfortable around my friends, and some family members. But even with the comfort I feel, I do not disclose a lot of information about myself towards them. Sure they can see if I am hurt, sad, mad, or happy. But all the info they receive is only surface level, skin deep. I am always on guard with my feelings, emotions, etc. I never let anyone get too close. I mean I know that my friends care for me and will be there for me no matter what, but by "close" I mean it in regards to the details of my life and what I am going through, not emotionally.
Many people have told me that they feel comfortable with me or being around me. Friends, ex-girlfriends, and some aquaintances. I don't know how to react to it. I am just being me and many people find comfort hanging out with me. The flipside is I have never told anyone that I have felt comfortable around them. I am sure I feel some sort of comfort around friends, but I have never just been in a situation and thought, "wow, I feel comfortable around ______."
I guess I am going to have to start letting down my guard and be able to put the trust that I know I have with my friends and start letting it show to the comfort I have with them as well. I think I will have to start trusting and confiding with friends whom I know will be there no matter what with situations in my life that I feel no one will seem to understand. I have to start somewhere, and I know that I cannot hide my emotions all the time. Sometimes it shows on my face and friends have told me that they see the hurt and pain in my eyes, no matter how much I try to hide it. Maybe I will find the comfort that I seek...one day.
There is this thing called comfort. It's what people like family have, boyfriends and girlfriends share, and what makes people feel safe around friends, around each other. It is a weird thing because I feel comfortable around my friends, and some family members. But even with the comfort I feel, I do not disclose a lot of information about myself towards them. Sure they can see if I am hurt, sad, mad, or happy. But all the info they receive is only surface level, skin deep. I am always on guard with my feelings, emotions, etc. I never let anyone get too close. I mean I know that my friends care for me and will be there for me no matter what, but by "close" I mean it in regards to the details of my life and what I am going through, not emotionally.
Many people have told me that they feel comfortable with me or being around me. Friends, ex-girlfriends, and some aquaintances. I don't know how to react to it. I am just being me and many people find comfort hanging out with me. The flipside is I have never told anyone that I have felt comfortable around them. I am sure I feel some sort of comfort around friends, but I have never just been in a situation and thought, "wow, I feel comfortable around ______."
I guess I am going to have to start letting down my guard and be able to put the trust that I know I have with my friends and start letting it show to the comfort I have with them as well. I think I will have to start trusting and confiding with friends whom I know will be there no matter what with situations in my life that I feel no one will seem to understand. I have to start somewhere, and I know that I cannot hide my emotions all the time. Sometimes it shows on my face and friends have told me that they see the hurt and pain in my eyes, no matter how much I try to hide it. Maybe I will find the comfort that I seek...one day.
