New Year's Eve...The plan for me was to go to Las Vegas, but I did not know what the heck was happening. There was not any communication, and I just ended up not going. But to all who did..have fun! Anyways, can't wait til the countdown til 2003. Just feels like a looooooooooooooooooooong day...

On the other hand, I did go out with my friend, Rosa. To let you know about the day, I entitle this The Misadventures of Super Shroomie and OB Freak!
Just recently Super Shroomie finally recieved her license after so many years. Super Shroomie was so happy that all she wanted to do was drive. (Ahhh...I remember those days. When driving was fun or at least enjoyable, yet also the scariest thing in the world!) Well after some failed attempts of palnned things, finally Super Shroomie got the permission and keys from the Giant Mean Mushroom that Super Shroomie called "Dad." At around 3:30PM, Super Shroomie drove to pick up her very good friend OB Freak. They are really good friends, and have fought crime together before, but this day was not about catching the bad guys...it was a different adventure. The plans today was to go *dun dun dun* BRA SHOPPING!!! OB Freak..well...basically FREAKED, and tried to get out of the Shroomiemobile, but it trapped him in. And soon enough her car hypnotized poor OB with her messed up left blinker. Instead of blinking on and off, it just stayed on and made a horrible hypnotizing sound. Soon before OB knew it, he was led to the local Dears store. (Store name has been changed because I don't want to promote anything...they aren't going to send me any free things.) Anyways, as OB was hypnotized he was seen by everyone in Sea--,err..I mean Dears, shopping with Super Shroomie. Now this would not seem odd, but under no fault of his own, OB was with Shroomie whilst she was shopping for handbags and bras. HANDBAGS and BRAS!!! An old lady who was casually browsing the store gave OB Freak a weird look. To save his dignity and to shove that weird look on the old lady's face back into her face, he decided to go and apply for a job at Dears. Just so his trip to Dears was not an all waste of femininity. After about an hour spent doing nothing much at Dears, they returned back to the Shroomiemobile of Death, Shroomie dangerously drove to the mall and went to Robertson's June. Browsing a long while, Shroomie disliked all of the bras and spent most of the time loking at handbags. After an eternity(or like 30 minutes), she found one that she liked and bought it. After her purchase, they browsed the mall and killed more time. No place was hiring, and they left. So after about 2-3 hours of browsing, they returned home with one refund and one purse. Thus ended The Misadventure of Super Shroomie and OB Freak for today.

In other words, we went to Sears, she refunded her current purse that her dad got for her, browsed the store for bras and a handbag, didn't find anything she liked, and then we went to apply for a job there. She then drove to the Montebello mall, and went to Robinson's May to look at bras and handbags. She didn't find any bras that fit her fancy and then spent most of her time looking at handbags and finally found one made by Nine West. Browsed the mall and no one was hiring, so we went home.

Now just have to enjoy and wait til the new year arrive. Another year, another start.

Another movie off the list...I am making good time with these movies, but I think the majority of the Indie Films will be viewed on video because it is freaking hard to find theatres to show it. Maybe they will be easier to find in 2003 because these movies are getting released now for Oscar contention. I am getting movies off of my list, but then I am also adding more onto it as well. Like Max is another movie I want to see. It's like about this one person Max something, and about Hitler and on how he was a striving artist, but failed. It looks really good. And Chicago got a great review by my short, but very cool friend Christy Simuangncolalalwhatever. She was the make-up artist for the shows taht I was in during high school, and like she helps out at the Covina Playhouse. She even starred in The Little Shop of Horrors as the Bag Lady!!! Plus she spit E-Z Cheese(the cheese in the squirt bottle) in John Camron Mitchell's(??) crotch, and she is a member of an Improv group with the guy who plays Dan from Del Taco! Yup, I know the big stars! Haha. Well she said it was great so I just migt consider watching it.

Drumline: This was such a great movie. It was really good. It was entertaining and also had like a message about changing for the better. Devon Miles is an arrogant and stuck up person at the end. He is the best, and always has to showboat and just show off his talents, but throughout the movie he learns how to be a part of a team and learns how to share his talents rather than just showing it off. He has his struggles and everthing, but he gets through them. Another must see, feel good movie. One Band, One Sound!

Two more movies off my list!

Amelie: By far one of the best movies I have ever seen. I always wanted to watch this movie when it was out in the movie theaters, but like I could not find where it was playing. Well after all the hype and all the good reviews that I heard, especially from Juju Kim, it was well worth the wait. It was soooo worth it!!!! Now I must own it for myself! It was playing at my school one time, but I had a lot of homework so I wasn't able to watch it. It is like a feel good movie. Just the things that Amelie does for everyone around her. It's one of those movies that bring faith back in your life and like gives you a lot of hope that was lost. It makes you believe that there are good people in the world and that there still is goodness in this corrupted world. It is cleverly written and acted out. I really enjoyed it and everyone should watch it! It is one of my favorite movies! The movie has a message of always having a good outcome no matter how messed up the situation, so maybe that applies to the crap I am going through. Everything will work out...hopefully...

Two Weeks Notice: This is such a good movie. It is very sweet and cute. A very good romantic comedy. There are a couple of one-liners that just tug at the heart. It is really charming. I don't know how it compares to Maid in Mannhattan, because I refuse to watch J.Lo(and my feelings about the movie was in a previous blog), but it has a more realistic look on things. (Even though not everyone could be big business owners and have tons and tons of money.) The relationship that Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant share is pleasing. You get to see their relationship grow. I liked this movie, and felt it was worth my 7 dollars. If only there were more love stories or the love in general like this in the world. Something to look forward to in the future...

Indie Film Buddies: All of my friends like to go watch the mainstream movies out in theatres, such as Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, etc. Don't get me wrong, I like them as well, but I also want to see some Independant Films or Foreign Films as well. Once in a while a couple will want to watch some Indie films, but other than that, it's just me. And I am not the type of person to go and watch movies in theaters by myself(at home is a different story). So I was just bored online when my friend Phimy IMed me. She read my blog and told me that she had the DVD for Amelie. (We talked before and talked about our movie preferences. Turns out, we both like to watch Indie Films, so she knew that I am an Indie Freak.) I asked to borrow it, but she was gonna watch it with soon with Pauline. (Another friend and Indie film viewer) So she invited me over to her house and we had an Amelie viewing party...well not really a party, but we saw the movie. And it was soooo good! So yeah I have some Indie Film Buddies now and if I ever want to see an Indie Film, I can just call upon Super Phimy and Sidekick Pauline, or the other way around. Also Hao, Thomas, and Chi(?) were there. So more friends for me...haha. Thanks guys! You're the greatest. Plus, I have access to the Movie Library of Phimy Truong as well, so I can catch up on all the past Independent/Foreign Films that I missed! The perks of being her friend! Haha...also I like stayed at her house til like 3:30AM, just talking and acting stupid. The movie was over like at 12 something. Oh well, it was fun.

Who would have thought talking about things would make you feel better: Well on Christmas Day and the day after(meaning like past 12), I spent the night/early morning talking with my brother, Peter. We were just talking about anything that came to mind. We haven't talked really in years. I mean I would go and chill with him in his room and stuff, but never talked about anything. And I am the type of person to hold all of my feelings in and just let it build up and hope that one day I will jsut snap and get sent to a psychiatric ward, but I decided that I had to tell someone about how I am feelling about everything. I mean I still held back a lot, but I guess it was a start. He was mainly initiating the conversation and asking the questions which really helped me because I don't know how to start things. I mean me and Peter are cool with eachother and everything, but I just don't open up. We are both wrapped up in our own lives, our own things. So, it is pretty much hard to do anything together. But with the whole parents thing going on right now in out lives, I guess it was easier to open up, and it felt good to open up a little, but I don;t think it will be a common thing for me...Once in a very, very long while. *sigh* oh well, life goes on....

Toilet Male Offspring?!?!: To all who read this and are thinking "WTF does Toilet Male Offspring mean? And do I really want to know?" Well it isn't anything sick, so get your minds out of the gutter. My brain just works in weird ways, and maybe I should be doing something productive with my brain, I come up with retarded things such as Toilet Male Offspring. Here goes...Another name for the TOILET is "the John" and if a boy is born aka a son, he is someone's MALE OFFSPRING, So if you put two and two together, Johnson makes TOILET MALE OFFSPRING! Wow, I need to get more of a life!

Gansta Name:
Johnson = Green Egg African
Johnson Chang = John Cougar Canadian
Johnson Yang Chang = King Forty Sippa

Pornstar Name(Male):
Johnson = Don Nut
Johnson Chang = Butt Tail
Johnson Yang Chang = Dirk Diggler

Pornstar Name(Female):
Johnson = Cindy Nut
Johnson Chang = Exotica Tail
Johnson Yang Chang = Cindy Diggler

Taxi Driver Name:
Johnson = Zzmükhan Johnson
Johnson Chang = Qwìktungja Mitchell
Johnson Yang Chang = Mûng Mûng Sanders

Significant Other Pet Name:
Johnson = Lemur Jubblies
Johnson Chang = Fire Toes
Johnson Yang Chang = Hamster Trousers

If you want to know your Gangsta names, Pornstar names, Taxi Driver names, and Significant Other Pet names, then click the link and see how you measure up! Thanks to my sista Steffie for this site which brought a smile to my face for a while in my boring dull life!

~*~Friday~*~
After my last final, I celebreated by taking a long nap, only to be interrupted by a phone call. It was okay though because it was my friends inviting me to go watch The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers with them. So I went to the movie theatres with my group of girlfriends(Girls who are my friends). I finally got to see all of my friends again from high school, well most of them. Kathie, Lorraine, Jenifer, and Rosa. It was good to see all of them again and act retarded and stupid like we always do. The Lord of the Rings was a 3 hour long movie. It felt like 10 to my butt, but it was a good movie nonetheless. I liked the part when Gollum was talking to himself during the night. The first time. It was pretty funny and cool. While Jeni and Lorraine were fighting over Aragorn(Viggo Morrison), and Rosa and Kathie were fighting over Legolas(Orlando Bloom), I was amused about their dispute. It was fun and then we went to In and Out to eat. There were these high school kids that had those new mini remote control cars, and they were driving it purposely into Rosa's foot. She got really mad and wanted to smash it. Haha. And that was that for the day....

~*~Saturday~*~
After a whole lot of doing nothing in the morning and afternoon, my other friends decided to go out and shoot pool and stuff. This is my group of guy friends who have been there for me through everything. The people that I consider my brothers. J.T., Roy, David, and J.V.. (My friend Truong was not there because no one could get a hold of him, due to the evilness of his girlfriend who gets mad when he hangs out with us because she thinks that there are girls who will hit up on him and stuff like that...) Anyway, my friends' girlfriends were there as well...Nina(J.T.'s g/f), Thao(Roy's g/f), Joanne(David's g/f), and Kathy(J.V.'s g/f). We went to Golden Cue, a pool hall that is by our house and shot some pool, and caught up on everything. It's cool because we all get along, every guy and every girl there, so there was no tension and we all could act dumb and mess around. It's been a while since we have seen eachother and a longer while since we all(well most) hung out together. After the pool hall, we all were hungry so we decided to go eat at Noodle World. When we got there, I got a stomach ache and did not feel like eating food anymore, which really sucked because I was hungry, but it was all right. Then we went to go chill at Roy's house. We just spent the time there playing video games and reading magazines. Then we played this one game where you had to say a word and the next person would have to think of a word that began with what the first word ended with. (i.e.: Frog, so the next person would have to make up a word that started with "G" like Grape, then Elephant, etc) Someone would bound to mess things up, well when we first started, Roy said "Milk" and then J.V. said "Cup." We laughed so much. It was hilarious. But as it turns out, he thought that the word had to be related to the first word, like milk gets poured into a cup, so we started again and this time David said "Rat" and then J.V. said "Stop!" More laughter...I guess you had to be there. Anyways that was the day and we went home. It was great to see me buddies. Well that is it.

~*~Sunday~*~
Nothing great happened today. I talked to this one girl. She was pretty cool. Oh and my parents decided to argue again. Whoo Hoo!!! BLARGH!!!! Anyways, I am not into the Christmas spirit. I don't have any plans, I don't plan on making any plans. Sometimes I just feel so useless during this time of season. I have now established a goal that will be accomplished by next year. I plan to start a non-profit organization or charity. I just got to decide what it is going to be called and what steps I need to achieve it. Come next Christmas...I will have a Charity that will help out my community and hopefully some other people's communities as well.

NO MORE FINALS...ONE MONTH AND A HALF OF WINTER BREAK!!! WHOO HOO!!!

ONE MORE FREAKING FINAL TO GO!!!

Indie Films I Want to See:
Punch Drunk Love
Bowling for Columbine
The Hours
The Emperor's Club
Far From Heaven
Evelyn
Antwone Fisher
Tadpole
About Schmidt
Amelie

Mainstream Movies I Want to See:
Drumline
Harry Potter: Chamber of Secrets
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Gangs of New York
Catch Me If You Can
Two Weeks Notice

Okay, today was a pretty interesting day. One of the better days I have had in a long time. Today is my Juju's birthday, and after bombarding her with voice messages, text messages, tag boards, emails, and a post about her b-day on my blogger...the day sadly will end, but that doesn't change the fact that she has reached the big 2-0. It is just too bad I couldn't spend time with her on her special day. We will meet and chill and do stuff together...It's just a long overdue meeting!

Back to my day...after finishing with my final in Political Science(which I thought was pretty easy), I went to sell back some of my books. I got a total of $45.50!!! Yeah Baby!! Plus they didn't want one book back, so I got to keep it. Big whoopie!! So after the book buyback, I went home. I chilled at my house for a while, but then I decided to go visit my friend Ami and the rest of the people in high school because I was suppose to go there to see the Choir and Band Winter Holiday Concert, and being a SEM Alumni and Choir Legend(haha), I went to see the concert. I spent pretty much my whole day at my high school just catching up with people and waiting for the concert to start. Well, it is tradition that we have a Sing Along part during the concert, and my friends and I decided to act like total retards and just have fun with it, so we were singing along with the Mixed Choir. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was a song that was a part of the sing along. Of course that song has two versions of that song, the first is the regular song, that you just sing through, the second was the one with the little added comments like "Like a Lightbulb!" and "Like Monopoly." Well since it was a sing along, I decided to add in the color comments. It was cool because I got the crowd into it, and it was fun for alot of people. I had other peoples mom's encouraging me to do something stupid. During the sing along for Deck the Halls, one mom told me to stand up and sing with them, so I did, and it caused a lot of people to laugh and i even made some people who were singing in the choir crack up. Well one person got all snappy and when I was yelling comments during the Rudolph song, she got mad and said "Shut Up!" and had the odacity to crumble up her program into a ball and throw it at me! Luckily for me it hit my friend, Jason. Now I am not a believer in violence, so I let that slide, but that did not stop me from acting like a dumbass. I mean c'mon lady, it was a sing along meant for the audience to get into the act and have a little fun...don't gotta be all uptight during the festive Holiday Seasons. Hope you get a lump of coal! We caused a ruckus and gained a lot of attention. After the show was over, I had my friends' (who were in the choir) moms tell me that I made the concert fun for them. It was good that I did act stupid to get the crowd into the performances. So one point for me and none for the PMS lump of coal lady!! Point, Johnson-3(because three mom's told me that); PMS lump of coal lady-0. Haha. Well all in all I did have a good day, plus this got my mind away from the situation at home. Now back to preparing for my Finals.

To Juju Eunha Kim Averill,

Julie...
You are a great person, and I am glad that I got to know you. You don't think that you have touched people in your life, but I can honestly say that you have touched mine. You are a special friend, and you are one of the important ones that I will never forget. You make me wnat to better myself and do the best that I can do in anything that I do. You are my friend, my inspiration and my muse. I Love Ya!!! And don't you ever forget that! 143.

I wanted to say Happy Birthday to you,
And hope you have a terrific time.
Something that you will remember forever,
And always cherish in your mind.
I am glad that I got to know you,
And I am honored to call you my friend.
I just wanted to wish you the best,
From now until the end.
Happy 20th Birthday!
Enjoy it while it lasts.
Don't ever regret anything,
When looking back at your past.
Two decades have gone by,
Since you took your first breath.
So live your life to the fullest,
As if it was your last one left.
Don't take anything for granted.
Not even for a while.
Don't rush things,
And always remember to smile.
I hope you get everything you wish for.
On your special day.
I guess there is nothing left for me to say,
Except, Happy Birthday!!!

All My Love,
Johnson Titi Chang 12/19/02

Happy 20th Birthday-palooza!!!

Here are some sites that should get a quick laugh or brighten your day...

Mashimaro Lil Bow Wow

Don't Worry...Be Happy

Kiss Kiss Kiss

Holiday Wish List

a family....nothing more......

Once again I am put into the ignore stage...this is where my mom and dad ignore eachother and crap like that...I do not have time for this. I have a lot of work to make up and I have finals coming up tomorrow, Thursday, and Friday. The least of things I need is another big ass fight between my parents. They say they are getting a divorce, but I bet they are just going to end up pretending as if everything is just peachy keen all over again. I need my own place...I need a car...I need a job, so I can be able to pay the rent, etc. It's really funny...I hate school and everything, but yet it is the place where I take refuge when I don't want to go home...I guess school has more importance to me than I ever thought. As of now, I want to go and take a long break from everything and go watch Drumline or any other movie that is out...I just want to get out! Get out of my melodramatic life, and for once just live life. I don't get out much. I tend to be anti-social and I just want to be the complete opposite. Life sucks...

Yesterday I went to see The Hot Chick with my friend, Rosa. Too tired to describe it. But it was cool spending a few hours with her. As of how I am feeling right now...let's just say that my parents are at it again and yet again they are pissed off over some little thing. Once again their attempt of a happy marriage fails terribly and just puts me in anger and in a strange position. I wish they could just make up their fucken mind and either stay together and stop faking that they love eachother willing to accept the good and bad or just fucken give it a rest. Frankly, I don't care if they get a divorce, but what I do care about is them pretending to be all lovey dovey when the truth is the honeymoon is over. It gets me really mad to see them all acting like they are still in love, and hearing my mom joking around saying things like, "So you going to call your girlfriend?" or "Your girlfriend is busy so you had to come home to us, huh?" I know that there is some sort of jealousy still inside my mom. I know she still thinks that my dad has a girlfriend on the side. Everything is so fucked up and I just wish they make up their damn minds and move on, or end it all. I don't want to be here...For damn sure, I'm moving out!

Great my dad just came out and said, "Your mom and me are going to get a divorce, who do you want to go with?" That is just fucking great! He puts me in this awkward situation again. This isn't the first time that I have been asked this, but so far they never actually did. I mean it's no big surprise that they would finally decide to end things, but I don't know who I want to go with. I have been with this family for almost all of my life..14 out of my 18 years. Fuck this...I need a way out!

Okay, so nothing extraordinary is going on in my life, come to think of it, nothing is really going on. I have finals coming up and school is almost over for me, at least the semester anyways. So I will be busy studying and preparing and all that stuff that you say you're going to do, but end up slacking off and doing other stuff and like trying to cram everything into your brain in the last hours before the final. I have got to stop with my laziness and like do my work. I have to stop procrastinating and stop thinking I can finish anything and everything last minute. I hope I don't fail or get any D's on my first semester. I don't want to be on contract. I want my financial aid.

So my friend is going to go to Paris, France for the holidays, Christmas and New Year's. Hope you have fun Karen!!! I want to travel!! I haven't left the West Coast of the United States of America. I was born in Texas. I live in California. And I visited Nevada, Arizona, and Colorado. That is it, so I want to see the world, or at least my country. That's it on this thing...

Recently, I have been watching a lot of TV. I know it isn't good for your mind, but sometimes you need that break that doesn't require any thinking and just fall into that hypnotic dumb box. And while watching it, there are some things that just bug the hell out of me. It's not right, and I don't know. It may just be that I have problems. Well, for one thing, on the new Land Before Time movie(the video about the kid dinosaurs...its like the 10th movie made with these annoying dinosaurs) has this one song that says "Imaginary friends are wonderful friends," and to me I feel like that message sends a bad image towards little kids. I mean c'mon now, imaginary friends aren't healthy, and some people take longer to grow out of the imaginary friend stage, also, that dinosaur that pops out looks fruity and freaky! *shivers* Another thing that bugs me is that ad for Sockem Boppers(those blow up things that are kinda like boxing gloves). They are more fun than a pillow fight, yet when you see these two kids using them to bop eachother, they only have one bopper on and then this one kid uses his other hand as well, the one without the bopper. That is just wrong. The third thiing that bugs me is the new J.Lo movie, Maid in Manhattan. How wrong is that movie? They say it is one of the best romantic comedies of the year, but how romantic is it to be a maid and try on the guest's clothes. Isn't there a law or something about that? And then after being seen by a guest as being a guest and not a maid, she goes and steals more clothes and stuff. It annoys me! Maybe it is just my hate towards J.Lo, but I don't know. There are some more, but I can't think of anymore right now. I think I just have too much time on my hands to be thinking about this...

To anyone who wants to get me something, here are a few things that I wouldn't mind having...

Lilo & Stitch DVD or a Morph doll(if they have Morph dolls out...Morph is a character in the movie Treasure Planet). This list will be updated, but if money is a problem, then a simple Merry Christmas or a card will do. I don't expect much for this holiday.

Happy 19th Birthday Kristyeena Li!!!

I FINALLY got a cell again! It is not the one that I wanted because the T68i cost a hundred dollars with the plan. So I was stuck getting the T300, the plain camera phone featured on the T-Mobile commercial with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Well at least I have a phone again so I shouldn't be complaining. Plus it is decent, and it comes with a free camera, so whoopee!!! Anyways, recently I have been helping my friend out, who aspires to be a director, with a movie. I am his Assistant Director, so basically I get the coffees and lunches..haha...j/p. Well the independant film he is doing is called, "Sylvia." It was a play that the South El Monte High School Drama Department recently performed. Well, he turned it into a screenplay and now we are in the process of filming the movie.

Finals are coming up and I am so illy prepared for anything. Today I had a Math exam to take, and I was barely maintaining a C in the class. Well now I can kiss that C goodbye because I didn't know jack on that test despite studying. And while I started the exam, I realized that I had about an inch of lead. So I had to take a math test without lead. I used the lead down, until it wouldn't click out of the pencil, and I didn't feel like asking anyone for an extra pencil I could borrow, so I just used the piece of lead I had left and finished the test with my two fingers and the little piece of lead. As if anything else couldn't go wrong. *sigh* Oh well, there is always summer school at Rio Hondo.

I still don't know what I really want to do in the future. I am still torn between journalist, teacher, or something to do with film/TV/theatre(screenwriter, producer,etc). I am really leaning towards journalist or screenwriter or producer. I would love to do musical theatre, but I don't know. I am presently going to write 4 one act plays. Hopefully I can finish them and with the help of my high school drama teacher, he could help me get them published if they are good. Here are the summaries of what they are about. I haven't wriiten it out yet, but this is the summary of what I have planned and it could change...

Everything Anonymous - A support group for people with a problem...any problem. Whether the problem is alcoholism, narcotics, gambling, stealing or mother-in-laws nagging on your every move, Everything Anonymous is there to help you cope. Be a part of this meeting and follow along with 6 characters whose problems and antics will make you laugh, cry, and admit you have a problem. Remember, denial is the first indication that you have a problem, so come clean and admit that you are a laughaholic!

Shrink Wrap - People with problems go to Shrinks to let loose and clear their heads, but who do the Shrinks go see for their problems? In this one-act play, follow the lives of three psychologists who break the "therapist/patient confidentiality promise," by telling thier Shrinks about the messed up people who go the them for help, only to discover what a small world lies in the Pyschologist World.

The Bench - A group of friends, who have lost touch with each other, return to their high school for a reunion, only to be reunited with each other in their "kick it spot" throughout their high school days. Relive the things that happened during their high school days and see how it all unfolds just by revisitng the old bench that made friendships and resurfaced the past.

Colorblind - The discussions of a "white America," and what it is like to be living in a country that is suppose to be the land of opportunity, but seems more like the land opportunity only if one is white. People of different colors stuggle and are discriminated upon. Not only about white people, but about living in an area as a minority that is populated majorly by a different race.(I don't know if it will be a one-man show or a one act.)

Today at Fullerton I was half asleep and had to get to class because my friend and I got there like right at 9, and that is when my first class starts. I go to the escalators to go to my classroom located at the 4th floor, but the escalator on the first floor was out, so you had to walk up it. Me being half asleep started to climb it, but then as I was looking down to watch my step, suddenly I saw two sets of escalator steps. As the steps split on me, I was all ready taking a step, so I didn't lift my leg high enough and tripped on the escalator! HAHA!!! But I didn't like fall over, I stumbled a little, and almost fell, but then I regained composure and just walked the rest of it. People saw but they didn't laugh or anything, which is pretty cool.

Enough of that marquee crap...it gives ME a headache just trying to read it! Plus it is annoying seeing it go by and by and by...

Today I went back to South El Monte High School to visit some friends. Well it was actually one friend, Ami. (The one that it said I would marry according to my MASH psychic reading) But I got to see many more. It was pretty cool, considering that I want to get out of South El Monte. Actually, not leave South El Monte, but rather get as far away as I can from this family! I enjoy this little town that I grew up in. I don't really think I can ever leave SEM completely. I like it too much, especially with all the people that I have befriended. I know I must move on, but most of the times I just want to linger with the past. Anyway, I revisited my school and met up with my younger peeps at our spot, the "bench", and I just spent like an hour or so catching up with everyone that i havent seen since I graduated. It was great to see everyone again, and to talk to everyone.

I need a job for spending money over the winter break. I relied on financial aid too much and now it is all gone. There are a lot of places hiring for the holidays so I am bound to get a job. And plus, I need one if I am going to move out and live in the dorms or apartments near my school. I need some money to pay the rent and everything else every month. Responsibility is soooo overrated!! And I am going to rejoin my four-eyed brothers and sisters out in the world in a little while. I am going to get glasses again. I don't think I am "responsible" enough for contacts plus I think it is too much of a hassle, putting some crap in your eyes everyday and taking out your eyes every night. And along with my glasses, I shall be getting a new cell phone, so there will be a way to contact me when my brother is using the computer or when I am using the computer. I used to be so easy to contact with two phone lines and a cell phone, but in a few months it all changed. Oh well, at least contacting and talking to me won't be a lost cause anymore...WHOO HOO!!! But in a few more days..*sigh*

Click Here to play MASH. According to it, my results are:
You will live in a House.
You will drive a white Lexus RX300.
You will marry Ami and have 4 kids.
You will be an Actor/Producer in New York

Screw that DAMN monkey in the Lion King that said "Change is good..." Since when is change ever good? Change is change...it makes everything that we know and have grown familiar with different. It starts even when you are little and young, oblivious to the things around you. I was only 4 when my parents got their divorce. I didn't know what was happening. All I knew was that I didn't see my dad as much, and I grown attached to this other father figure that my mom introduced me to. He would soon become my step-father. I didn't really think much of it, but it turns out that it screwed me up more than I knew. I remember back in the day in Kindergarden. There was a girl named Joy. Everyday I would push her on the swings, and we would always be around eachother. Ahhh...young puppy love...she even considered me her boyfriend. But change caused her to move and then I never saw her again...*sniff sniff* Fast Forward many years after, and now we are a part of the alumni of South El Monte High School, all moving in our seperate ways...seperate colleges. We said that we would still keep in touch, but what happens when you don't feel like keeping in touch with your friends? Lately I feel like isolating myself. Away from the world, which is easy to do, and away from my family, kinda hard to do when you still live with them.

I'm in a no win situation. I cannot isolate myself. If I want to get away from my family, I have to spend the night at a friend's house. If I want to get away from everyone else, I have to stay with my family. I can't wait until I can get my own apartment, or at least dorm at Fullerton next year. Change affects everything. It was much better back in the day. Pre-girlfriends, pre-driver license, pre-college. Now I am hanging around with my friends...and their girlfriends. That just makes me feel like a 3rd, 5th, 7th, or 9th wheel(depending on how many of my friends are coupled up when we go out. And they say that "it doesn't matter," but in my mind it does. And I am not looking for anything to happen and all of a sudden I have a girlfriend to take out with my friends and everything. Everything just seems so futile. I just feel like I don't fit in with my friends anymore.

Which brings me to my biological father. The divorce affected me more than I realized. I thought everything was fine, but it is really weird whenever I see like a father-son moment on a TV show and it hits me hard. I don't know why. I guess it is because I never had the father-son relationship that those TV families have. It's the ideal family. My mom speaks to me as if I am still 8 years old and she explains everything to me step by step even though I all ready know what she is talking about. I get yelled at for the things that my brothers do. One year ago I learned the truth regarding my biodad(this seems to fit him. It sounds like he is a science project. Only an experiment could show less compassion). It turns out that he used to chase my mother down with a knife, threatening to kill her. And the most devastaing news was that when we used to spend a weekend with biodad, (Disneyland, quality time with a man that we never knew) it turned out that my mother had to give him the money just to take us out. Last I heard about biodad was thet he was in jail, and that he got deported. Frankly I do not care.

I think my mom is an alcoholic. She seems to always drink her problems away, and she always has one of her suicidal, jealous moods when she does get drunk. She always accuses my step-father of having an affair. The thing is, I think he is having an affair. And after she is done accusing him of cheating, she then starts saying that she isn't good enough and starts banging her head agaisnt the walls and throwing whatever she can get her hands upon. What makes this situation even more screwed up is that my mom and dad act like everything is all right and that they are a lovey dovey couple, but then in a few weeks or a month or so, they repeat the argument process and that just pisses me off, but of course I don't say anything and this affects me when I go to school or go out and everything.