Got about 30 hours of work...HURRAY!!! Got an 8 hour shift on Thursday...Thanksgiving wich equals pay and a half!! Bank!!! and it is the morning shift so i can work get moeny and still eat turkey!!! LOL...work was okay today...had to haul @$$ to get to work from rehearsals. But it was cool. Chill day today...tomorrow we get Haunted Mansion..so busy...went out to Sundays to eat with Candy and Cindy...(DONT GET THE DEEP FRIED MILK CAKES!!!), stayed there and talked til 3:20AM or so..didn't even realize it was 3 in the morning. It barely felt like 1:30AM at the latest. We were talking about waht to do afterward. Realized it was 3...there really isnt anything open at taht time...LOL. And i shaved finally. No more shabby semi beard and even shaved off my pathetic attempt of growing a mustache...haha...k..enough...night!
Wednesday, November 26, 2003
Johnson you are understudying Connor. This way if there is a glitch (AKA if I kick out the present Conner you'll be in) and if you have to be late for a rehearsal due to class in the next two weeks it will be okay.
So I got understudy for Connor. It's a long and complicated storyline to the play...I guess you gotta go out and watch it to fully understand. *wink wink*
So I got understudy for Connor. It's a long and complicated storyline to the play...I guess you gotta go out and watch it to fully understand. *wink wink*
Monday, November 24, 2003
Saw Cat in the Hat. Its a cool movie..funny and Mike Meyers does a good job as the Cat. Dakota Fanning and Spencer ?? the two kids do a good job as well. It's a fun movie.
Call backs are all right...I know I got a part...but I just dunno waht part, or if I am a lead or understudy...Update with details tomorrow...
Call backs are all right...I know I got a part...but I just dunno waht part, or if I am a lead or understudy...Update with details tomorrow...
Sunday, November 23, 2003
This is a milestone in my life, for today is the day that I have worked for one whole month! The first month anniversary of the first job I ever recieved! So go me! Now to reach that year mark!
Good news...I got a call back for the play...now let's see if I am able to make it to the play as a lead ratehr than an understudy...or sadly..CUT...hehe...
Good day...gosh darn, kids are so messy....The Cat in the Hat came out and little kids went to watch it....never ahve I seen a movie theater so tore up! Popcorn everywhere...spilled soda...nacho cheese on the seats...horrible!! The Matrix wasn't even that bad, and we were expecting the worst! One of my fellow ushers found a daiper inside the theater..used!! Gross!! They shoved it in the popcprn bag...and he reached for it to throw it away and realized taht it was a used daiper!! How did they change the dang lil kid? And then later a lil girl yakked on the floor. Good god man! I work tomorrow from 1-6PM...hope it isn't that bad...*sigh*
on a better and happier note...I saw Brother Bear! Gosh I love working at the movie theater! All the free movies I want to watch!! Kewl!! Good movie...sad...but happy. Disney movies are alway so damn appealing! Also went to Barnes and Nobles...but not to study...to buy books!! Didn't ahve money to get much, but I did get The Perks of Being a Wallflower! Hurray!! Thanks Giggleberri!! I found out that she reads!! LOL..Like whoa!! Haha..anyways...we went books shopping!!! Kewl...and like one day I am just going to spend my paycheck buying books...gotta start building up my book collection. Found a Barnes and Nobles buddy!!! Happy days!
on a better and happier note...I saw Brother Bear! Gosh I love working at the movie theater! All the free movies I want to watch!! Kewl!! Good movie...sad...but happy. Disney movies are alway so damn appealing! Also went to Barnes and Nobles...but not to study...to buy books!! Didn't ahve money to get much, but I did get The Perks of Being a Wallflower! Hurray!! Thanks Giggleberri!! I found out that she reads!! LOL..Like whoa!! Haha..anyways...we went books shopping!!! Kewl...and like one day I am just going to spend my paycheck buying books...gotta start building up my book collection. Found a Barnes and Nobles buddy!!! Happy days!
Saturday, November 22, 2003
I am auditioning for a play at my old high school called, "Final Exam." It is weird play, but good. It is a new concept and this is going to be the first time that anyone has put on this play. SO that is really cool..Hope I get called back and then Hope i get a part!
I got a 99 out of a 100 on my Histroy Test. I didn't even study for this one! And I took it and was expecting something like an 80 or lower, but I got a 99!! Thank god for my memory! I guess it isn't just good for useless information! Haha...though alot of space of my memory is! It could also be that the teacher is easy...I don't know. She is nice and her class is easy. Just a little more work than others...GO ME!!! Chinese on the other hand...I havent been doing so well in. Gotta pick up the slack...I am still doing well in that class...but I have been slacking off...turned in my 3rd essay...hope I do well...I think my essay deserves an A, considering that I did write it out in an hour and a half. But my portfolio is a C portfolio. At least I hope it is worth a C, and that I get one. No more slacking off!!!
The essay that got me an A-.
Dog Chow: Not Just for Dogs…Anymore?
Food is the second most essential source that keeps us alive. There are many varieties of food to choose from: meats, vegetables, fruits, and Dog Chow. Dog Chow? When did dog food become a part of the nutritional food pyramid? It may seem like a good idea to eat dog food considering that it is made out of chicken, beef, or lamb and rice, conventional food most of us eat every day. However, it is called dog food for a reason. To an unaware target, such as a four year old child, the kibbles are deceivingly shaped to look like an “O” and have a close resemblance to Cheerios. The incident I am writing about is quite obvious, but it is how this incident occurs that makes it my most embarrassing and possibly most naïve incident in my life. Even to this day, whenever I see my dog munching on her Dog Chow, I still flash back to the time when I ingested this half-assed concoction that is suppose to be a feast for dogs.
“Hey Johnson,” my older brother, Hanson, called me over. He was with one of his friends. “Want to eat some Cheerios?” I was four years old at the time and easily influenced. I looked up to my brother, who is two years older than me. There was something mysterious about him. He seemed to know what was cool, and liked making my life miserable. There was always some ulterior motive to everything he did, sometimes cynical. Nonetheless, in my eyes, I saw my brother as someone superior than average people, and he knew what was best for me.
On the kitchen tile, across from my brother, was a medium-sized, red bowl. The tile was supposed to be white, but due to its dirtiness and age, it appeared to be a dingy gray with a moldy green trim. Walking around on the tile and carpet was my family’s dog, Buffy. She was a gray poodle, a shade lighter than the tile, and was very obedient. The dog was near the bowl and was resting her head on her paw. Hanson informed me that the food was in the red bowl. I did not know why the food was on the floor because I was used to eating food off the table, yet I did not question him and began to walk towards the bowl of goodies.
This was a new thing for me to comprehend. Who has ever heard of eating a meal off the floor? I have never eaten anything off anywhere except the dinner table. I approached the red bowl and looked down at the contents inside of it. There were lots of circular shaped bits, therefore I assumed the content inside the bowl really was “Cheerios,” or so I thought. There were no utensils around for me to scoop up the cereal with, however I have seen my poodle devour her food before. She did not need anything to help her eat besides her mouth. How great was this? I was able to eat food on the floor, plus did not have to be proper and use a spoon. A four year-old’s dream. I dropped down on all fours and imitated my dog, dunking my head down into the bowl. As my head reached near the food, the pungent smell of spoiled fish and cardboard entered my nose. Picking up some of the “circular whole-grain goodness” from the bottom part of the bowl, I crunched down upon some of the worst tasting cereal in my whole life. I can still remember the stale, moldy flavor of the kibbles. It tasted nothing like the Cheerios that I have ever encountered.
“This isn’t Cheerios, Hanson,” I remember whining to him.
“Yes, it is…it’s the new flavor. Just eat some more and you’ll like it,” he assured me.
Surely, I could not have been that dense to take another bite, but I believed him, so I plunged my head down to grab another mouth-full of cereal. Maybe these Cheerios wouldn’t be that bad this time around. I probably ate from the wrong side I thought to myself, so I decided to eat the bits on the upper part of the bowl. I picked up five or six succulent kibbles and munched down on it. Buffy got up and decided she was hungry as well, so she walked right beside me and ate from the same bowl of rancid cereal. I looked up at Hanson and his friend and they were cracking up and turning crimson. I felt sick, but he told me to eat a little more. One would imagine that I would not have gone down and taken in another mouth-full, but he was my older brother. I thought he knew what was best for me.
So after Buffy lifted her head, I bent my head down to dig up another mouth-full. I had the kibbles in my mouth and that was when my mother walked in. Ironically, she was bringing in bowls of Cheerios for my brother, his friend and me to eat. To her surprise, she encountered me eating my own special kind of Cheerios with the dog. I looked up and saw the look on her face. It was a mixture of disbelief and disgust. She shrieked, “Johnson, don’t eat the dog food!” It took some time for her words to process through my mind, but when I finally realized what the repulsive thing in my mouth was, I spat out the kibbles and vomited. My mother rushed over to me and began patting me on the back to make the vomit come out faster, but that just made the vomit go back down rather than help it up. All of the brown kibbles that went down my throat and into my stomach rushed back up. The raunchy taste of the dog food returned along with stomach acid. It was now a light brown mixture on the floor with a few distinct kibble chunks. All of this occurred in about two minutes. It was the most embarrassing moment in my life even though it only happened in front of three people. My brother got punished. Nothing severe. He just spent a few weeks grounded at home, but far worse I got teased and was dubbed as “Kibbles” for a few years of my life.
From the time that this happened until now, my feelings toward my brother have been of distrust. I admired him because he was my older sibling, but he tricked me into eating dog food! Needless to say, my admiration for him has greatly dropped. When I think about that incident now, I laugh about it and realized that I was a naïve young child who admired his brother a little too much. It was a stupid thing for me to do, but if the situation were to occur in my present life again, my actions would not mirror the way I reacted in my past. I would not eat the dog food that I mistook for Cheerios, and if I did, I would have only eaten it once, not three times. I am old enough to decide who are reasonable influences for me and have the knowledge to distinguish what food I ingest in my body, human or dog.
Dog food makers should not create their kibbles to appear similar to cereals that humans consume. With a conniving, evil, older brother, Dog Chow could easily be mistaken for Cheerios. I will stick to the original nutritional food pyramid excluding the dog food. Ever since that incident, I have never been able to eat Cheerios. Likewise, for my present dog, Penny, I buy dog food that does not have the deceiving “O” shaped kibble. It brings back the raunchy taste of the dog food back in my mouth. Food is what keeps us alive, but if I had a choice between starvation or consuming dog food as my only source for survival, I would say, “Let me starve and rest in peace!”
I got a 99 out of a 100 on my Histroy Test. I didn't even study for this one! And I took it and was expecting something like an 80 or lower, but I got a 99!! Thank god for my memory! I guess it isn't just good for useless information! Haha...though alot of space of my memory is! It could also be that the teacher is easy...I don't know. She is nice and her class is easy. Just a little more work than others...GO ME!!! Chinese on the other hand...I havent been doing so well in. Gotta pick up the slack...I am still doing well in that class...but I have been slacking off...turned in my 3rd essay...hope I do well...I think my essay deserves an A, considering that I did write it out in an hour and a half. But my portfolio is a C portfolio. At least I hope it is worth a C, and that I get one. No more slacking off!!!
The essay that got me an A-.
Food is the second most essential source that keeps us alive. There are many varieties of food to choose from: meats, vegetables, fruits, and Dog Chow. Dog Chow? When did dog food become a part of the nutritional food pyramid? It may seem like a good idea to eat dog food considering that it is made out of chicken, beef, or lamb and rice, conventional food most of us eat every day. However, it is called dog food for a reason. To an unaware target, such as a four year old child, the kibbles are deceivingly shaped to look like an “O” and have a close resemblance to Cheerios. The incident I am writing about is quite obvious, but it is how this incident occurs that makes it my most embarrassing and possibly most naïve incident in my life. Even to this day, whenever I see my dog munching on her Dog Chow, I still flash back to the time when I ingested this half-assed concoction that is suppose to be a feast for dogs.
“Hey Johnson,” my older brother, Hanson, called me over. He was with one of his friends. “Want to eat some Cheerios?” I was four years old at the time and easily influenced. I looked up to my brother, who is two years older than me. There was something mysterious about him. He seemed to know what was cool, and liked making my life miserable. There was always some ulterior motive to everything he did, sometimes cynical. Nonetheless, in my eyes, I saw my brother as someone superior than average people, and he knew what was best for me.
On the kitchen tile, across from my brother, was a medium-sized, red bowl. The tile was supposed to be white, but due to its dirtiness and age, it appeared to be a dingy gray with a moldy green trim. Walking around on the tile and carpet was my family’s dog, Buffy. She was a gray poodle, a shade lighter than the tile, and was very obedient. The dog was near the bowl and was resting her head on her paw. Hanson informed me that the food was in the red bowl. I did not know why the food was on the floor because I was used to eating food off the table, yet I did not question him and began to walk towards the bowl of goodies.
This was a new thing for me to comprehend. Who has ever heard of eating a meal off the floor? I have never eaten anything off anywhere except the dinner table. I approached the red bowl and looked down at the contents inside of it. There were lots of circular shaped bits, therefore I assumed the content inside the bowl really was “Cheerios,” or so I thought. There were no utensils around for me to scoop up the cereal with, however I have seen my poodle devour her food before. She did not need anything to help her eat besides her mouth. How great was this? I was able to eat food on the floor, plus did not have to be proper and use a spoon. A four year-old’s dream. I dropped down on all fours and imitated my dog, dunking my head down into the bowl. As my head reached near the food, the pungent smell of spoiled fish and cardboard entered my nose. Picking up some of the “circular whole-grain goodness” from the bottom part of the bowl, I crunched down upon some of the worst tasting cereal in my whole life. I can still remember the stale, moldy flavor of the kibbles. It tasted nothing like the Cheerios that I have ever encountered.
“This isn’t Cheerios, Hanson,” I remember whining to him.
“Yes, it is…it’s the new flavor. Just eat some more and you’ll like it,” he assured me.
Surely, I could not have been that dense to take another bite, but I believed him, so I plunged my head down to grab another mouth-full of cereal. Maybe these Cheerios wouldn’t be that bad this time around. I probably ate from the wrong side I thought to myself, so I decided to eat the bits on the upper part of the bowl. I picked up five or six succulent kibbles and munched down on it. Buffy got up and decided she was hungry as well, so she walked right beside me and ate from the same bowl of rancid cereal. I looked up at Hanson and his friend and they were cracking up and turning crimson. I felt sick, but he told me to eat a little more. One would imagine that I would not have gone down and taken in another mouth-full, but he was my older brother. I thought he knew what was best for me.
So after Buffy lifted her head, I bent my head down to dig up another mouth-full. I had the kibbles in my mouth and that was when my mother walked in. Ironically, she was bringing in bowls of Cheerios for my brother, his friend and me to eat. To her surprise, she encountered me eating my own special kind of Cheerios with the dog. I looked up and saw the look on her face. It was a mixture of disbelief and disgust. She shrieked, “Johnson, don’t eat the dog food!” It took some time for her words to process through my mind, but when I finally realized what the repulsive thing in my mouth was, I spat out the kibbles and vomited. My mother rushed over to me and began patting me on the back to make the vomit come out faster, but that just made the vomit go back down rather than help it up. All of the brown kibbles that went down my throat and into my stomach rushed back up. The raunchy taste of the dog food returned along with stomach acid. It was now a light brown mixture on the floor with a few distinct kibble chunks. All of this occurred in about two minutes. It was the most embarrassing moment in my life even though it only happened in front of three people. My brother got punished. Nothing severe. He just spent a few weeks grounded at home, but far worse I got teased and was dubbed as “Kibbles” for a few years of my life.
From the time that this happened until now, my feelings toward my brother have been of distrust. I admired him because he was my older sibling, but he tricked me into eating dog food! Needless to say, my admiration for him has greatly dropped. When I think about that incident now, I laugh about it and realized that I was a naïve young child who admired his brother a little too much. It was a stupid thing for me to do, but if the situation were to occur in my present life again, my actions would not mirror the way I reacted in my past. I would not eat the dog food that I mistook for Cheerios, and if I did, I would have only eaten it once, not three times. I am old enough to decide who are reasonable influences for me and have the knowledge to distinguish what food I ingest in my body, human or dog.
Dog food makers should not create their kibbles to appear similar to cereals that humans consume. With a conniving, evil, older brother, Dog Chow could easily be mistaken for Cheerios. I will stick to the original nutritional food pyramid excluding the dog food. Ever since that incident, I have never been able to eat Cheerios. Likewise, for my present dog, Penny, I buy dog food that does not have the deceiving “O” shaped kibble. It brings back the raunchy taste of the dog food back in my mouth. Food is what keeps us alive, but if I had a choice between starvation or consuming dog food as my only source for survival, I would say, “Let me starve and rest in peace!”
Monday, November 17, 2003
Self Confidence: People who know me know that I am not that confident in myself. I always think that I am not good at anything. And I guess it is because of the way I was brought up. I have always been told that I was "stupid, dumb, useless, etc" Not in that order. Haha...but like yeah. ANd I guess being brought up like that made me actually feel worthless. Sure, I was smart in school, a GATE student, top of my class...yet still that did not do it for me. So I started to rebel. Now I am an outgoing person who makes my friedns laugh and stuff..but being confident in the things that I do...well taht is a different story. In high school, I was well-known. A socialite despite all the drama in my life that should have made me anti-social and at times I was. I did not seem like someone who has always been told negative things because I always exuded a postive attitude. Chinese people who get educated at China or Taiwan get scolded at when they do something wrong. In America, children get "good jobs" and praises, even when they did not really do a good job. It is to build up children's self-esteem and stuff like taht. Chinese people were always talked down upon. If you don't get it right...you are stupid. It is interesting that in America, the most embarassing thing to students are like farting in class, tripping on something, and typical stuff like that. For a Chinese student or any student educated in Asia, thier most embarassing moment is getting the answer to a question wrong. Kind of shows you how diffeent these two areas are. My bringing up did is not to only reason taht I have low self-esteem and no confidence in myself. Also the way I look also plays a role in it. Growing up I was always the taller and bigger person around. I have always been big. Supposedly, in the future looks aren't suppose to matter. But in my head, they always do. I mean it's kind of hard not to think that when everyone seems to be talking about "How Hot" someone is...especially all of the girls taht I know. And I don't exactly fit into that category. I see myself as one of those people with a great personality. Or in other words....ugly. I don't see anything good about me, and I am told by friends of my good traits and some even tell me that I am good looking. I just brush it off me. It is like me and good looking or okay looking just don't go well. That plays a major role in I guess the way I act when I am around girls. Especially ones that I like. I mean I am really shy when it coems to girls. I can act like the goofy, outgoing person that I am. That is me, but girls somehow really intimidate me. I am surprised I don't start to hyperventilate when I do talk to them. It's all an act though. I mean meeting new people is hard for me. And I think that if someone decides to talk to me, then I am the luckiest person in the world. I have changed a lot since I was a freshman in high school. And with girls taht I like...(imitating an Italian mobster) Forget about it! In my eyes, every girl that I like is too good for me. And no one would ever like me. So when someone actually tells me that they do. I am really shocked...someone liking me?!?!? Unbelieveable. I even tend to brush it off just like I brush off the comments I get when I am "okay-looking." I mean it is weird. I wish and hope and pray that the girl I like will actually like me, and when they actually do..I then don't beleive it. It is like someone is playing a big prank with me. I become friends with the people that I like first...I don't think I will ever be able to pick up on someone spontaneously and like start a relationship like that...I am not that good looking enough..not that confident...I have to change...but I doubt I ever will...
Sensitivity: I am a little bit too sensitive. Freinds tell me I am "more in touch with my feminine side." And I guess I am. I joke with a lot of friends. They always tend to say taht they are more manlier than I am, and what is sad about that is that it is probably true. I don't know wht happened. I don't like guys...so that rules out homosexuality...but I was never into cars, sports, and all that other stereotypical stuff that guys are suppose to like. Frankly, I don't even think I am all that into them now. I mean sure...cars look nice...but to me they are just cars..Import Nights and all that sutff...I never wanted to go. I mean a car is a car but I do admit, I wouldn't want any car..I have my standards I guess...and sports..I am not a meat head. I do watch em and stuff, but I am not all die hard and have like tailgate parties and grunt and bumb chests with other sport nuts when my team scores. I like singing and stuff that don't really seem manly. Also in movie choices...for some reason I am one of those I guess you could say believers in love. Like all those corny cheesy stuff that happens in movies I believe do happen in real life. And I know that the world is a F*cked up place, but I guess that is what makes me want to believe that stuff like that do really happen and are not just "Hollywood Magic." So when wanting to go to movies...I like to watch are dubbed as "Chick Flicks." Romantic Comedies just seem to appeal to me. I like Independent Films, and stuff that are Oscar-worthy. I mean some Action films will catch my eye and stuff, but I tend to like steer clear from those movies. It is just that they don't seem to appeal to me, and granted that when I do watch some with my friends, some do turn out to be really good. I guess I am just an idealist more than I am a realist. So hey, I guess that I am a sensitive guy...I guess I am like FEZ.
Sensitivity: I am a little bit too sensitive. Freinds tell me I am "more in touch with my feminine side." And I guess I am. I joke with a lot of friends. They always tend to say taht they are more manlier than I am, and what is sad about that is that it is probably true. I don't know wht happened. I don't like guys...so that rules out homosexuality...but I was never into cars, sports, and all that other stereotypical stuff that guys are suppose to like. Frankly, I don't even think I am all that into them now. I mean sure...cars look nice...but to me they are just cars..Import Nights and all that sutff...I never wanted to go. I mean a car is a car but I do admit, I wouldn't want any car..I have my standards I guess...and sports..I am not a meat head. I do watch em and stuff, but I am not all die hard and have like tailgate parties and grunt and bumb chests with other sport nuts when my team scores. I like singing and stuff that don't really seem manly. Also in movie choices...for some reason I am one of those I guess you could say believers in love. Like all those corny cheesy stuff that happens in movies I believe do happen in real life. And I know that the world is a F*cked up place, but I guess that is what makes me want to believe that stuff like that do really happen and are not just "Hollywood Magic." So when wanting to go to movies...I like to watch are dubbed as "Chick Flicks." Romantic Comedies just seem to appeal to me. I like Independent Films, and stuff that are Oscar-worthy. I mean some Action films will catch my eye and stuff, but I tend to like steer clear from those movies. It is just that they don't seem to appeal to me, and granted that when I do watch some with my friends, some do turn out to be really good. I guess I am just an idealist more than I am a realist. So hey, I guess that I am a sensitive guy...I guess I am like FEZ.
Yesterday night I was talking with a few people. And like actually chatting with them, people that I have not talked to in ages. I discovered that a homegurl of mine is there for me and cares for me. We jsut always make fun of eachother and sure we chat and stuff, but once in a long while we have a serious talk and stuff...and those are really nice chats. I also had another talk with another one of my friend. Talked about the past...and how much fun it was....the stupid stuff that we did...but fun stuff...and then she left a friendster testimonial for me which brought a tear to my eye! LOL..not really...but it could have...Another convo that I had was with another friend. A bestest buddy you might say..and I was talking with her about her and this one person. And about lingering feelings....
Lingering feelings...you don't expect them to be there...they are just there...hence lingering. I was messing around with my friend about her liking this one guy and as it turned out she did...so then we change the topic to the girl that I had lingering feelings for...and as it turns out...I have lingering feelings for her...they just stay within me. As she put it, "You think you are fine, especially when you don't see them for a long while, but when you see them, your heart skips a beat." This is so true. I mean it is exactly what happens everytime I see this person. I want to move on, I try to, and at times I do, but all it takes is one look...and BAM everything comes back...not just slowling pacing back..it rushes like a flood about to devour an unsuspecting town. Things turned out differnet in life than I expected. I mean ever since I began to like her, it was set in my mind that we would be prom dates...but that didn't happen. And like I just realized that I just keep lingering on, expecting something to happen, but knowing nothing will. Then my friend mentioned a thought that I thought to be weird. She thought it to be "cute." She said that it would be "cute" if me and her ended up getting married because of how long I liked her. I think it would be weird. It's funny that I would picture me and this gurl going to prom together since I first liked her, but never thought past high school. Prom was the big moment in my mind...but marraige?!?! Wow...
yay to old times- no matter how stressful they mightve been (borrowed from Juju's blog)
Lingering feelings...you don't expect them to be there...they are just there...hence lingering. I was messing around with my friend about her liking this one guy and as it turned out she did...so then we change the topic to the girl that I had lingering feelings for...and as it turns out...I have lingering feelings for her...they just stay within me. As she put it, "You think you are fine, especially when you don't see them for a long while, but when you see them, your heart skips a beat." This is so true. I mean it is exactly what happens everytime I see this person. I want to move on, I try to, and at times I do, but all it takes is one look...and BAM everything comes back...not just slowling pacing back..it rushes like a flood about to devour an unsuspecting town. Things turned out differnet in life than I expected. I mean ever since I began to like her, it was set in my mind that we would be prom dates...but that didn't happen. And like I just realized that I just keep lingering on, expecting something to happen, but knowing nothing will. Then my friend mentioned a thought that I thought to be weird. She thought it to be "cute." She said that it would be "cute" if me and her ended up getting married because of how long I liked her. I think it would be weird. It's funny that I would picture me and this gurl going to prom together since I first liked her, but never thought past high school. Prom was the big moment in my mind...but marraige?!?! Wow...
yay to old times- no matter how stressful they mightve been (borrowed from Juju's blog)
Sunday, November 16, 2003
Stuff that I miss...
1)Roy
2)Spending time with friends
3)Barnes & Noble Study Nights
4)Indie Films with my Indie Buddies, Phimy and Pauline
5)Visits to UCR, UCI, and UCLA
6)Watching Naruto
7)"The Adventures of Supa Shroomie and OB Freak"
8)"HER"
1)Roy
2)Spending time with friends
3)Barnes & Noble Study Nights
4)Indie Films with my Indie Buddies, Phimy and Pauline
5)Visits to UCR, UCI, and UCLA
6)Watching Naruto
7)"The Adventures of Supa Shroomie and OB Freak"
8)"HER"
Fortune Cookie from Panda Express:
"A mysterious person will enter your life soon."
I am a freaking genius. When I cracked open the fortune cookie...I read my fortune.....except I read "Panda Express experincing 20 years of yummy." I was like...wtf kinda fortune is that?!?!?! And then I flipped it over and was like OHHHHH!!!!! LOL!! Yup enjoy my stupidity or as Cindy calls it...ReTaRdEdNeSs..lol
"A mysterious person will enter your life soon."
I am a freaking genius. When I cracked open the fortune cookie...I read my fortune.....except I read "Panda Express experincing 20 years of yummy." I was like...wtf kinda fortune is that?!?!?! And then I flipped it over and was like OHHHHH!!!!! LOL!! Yup enjoy my stupidity or as Cindy calls it...ReTaRdEdNeSs..lol
I had a chance to go see Steffy Dang. One of my best online friends...past g/f...and kick @$$ friend...a lot has changed. I seem to be more busier...and she was always busy. Her school has these trips...really cool trips to a lot of places...places that regular schools don't have.or I guess high schools did have, but anyways...she lives in Texas(Yea...birthstate!!!!) but goes to school and resides at the school in Ojai, California. So I don't really get to see her very often. Well she came down to LA on Friday to go to an Ary Museum or something...and I didn't have work or anything to do...the problem...No CAR...so I couldn't see her then, but then she also would be coming down to LA/Hollywood on Saturday as well...to watch the Producers...(you are so lucky!! I want to watch that!!!) Well, I can't visit her this time because 1) I have work and 2) I don't have money to get a ticket to go watch the show. So this time I was not able to see her...This is her Senior Year...and then she will return back to Texas..and attend college there. So my time with her is very limited...but this incident reminds me of other times when I was able to see her. We saw RENT together...and that was a really good musical. I love that show...and I told her I was going to watch it..I was determined(even bought Julie a ticket...but she couldn't go...a waste of $30) because I love the music to that musical so much, I had to watch the live perofrmance..and like I was surprised that it was going to be performed in LA cuz I know that it was still playing on Broadway...New York...and coincidentally, her school was going to watch RENT as well!! So I planned my RENT trip the same time she was going to see RENT...although we didn't get to sit next to eachother...or hang out that much...I finaly met her. And it was pretty cool. I mean cmon...see the best musical in the world(haha..in my opinion) and also being able to meet her...it was a good day...then on another occasion, her school was going to Six Flags Magic Mountain...and she wanted to see me and asked me to go...so I asked my brother to drive me to Magic Mountain and he did at like 10 in the morning. (Thanks so much Peter!!) And so I spent a "whole" day (more like half) with her. Magic was a real fun time. We rode rides together...talked...I met one of her friends Leland(who was really cool!) and we even took pictures together in one of those picture booths. We are retards. It was such a great day...and now..wow...she is a Senior...and I can't really do the things I did last year. It was so much easier to do things spontaniously...now I have to check my schedule..especially with someone like her...who I have a limited time to see..its like a countdown...because when she goes back to Texas and attends college there...I doubt there will be times when she will be returning to California and I will recieve a phone call from her..with her sweet voice saying, "Hey, I'm going to be down in LA today. And I want to see you!" And I know I am going to miss that...
Friday, November 14, 2003
Work is satisfying...more than I would ever expect. I have fun there..the people are nice and chill, and like the work isn't that bad. Even though it is a minimum wage job, it is a good first job and good first experience of the workforce. Gosh...I never thought I would be working. I mean I always said I wanted a job, but I was kind of happy that no one wanted to hire me. I guess I just wanted to prolong immaturity....irresponsibility...basically just kicking back for a few more years...I mean growing up means getting a job and working...I still wanted to live off of mother and father for a little while. What really woke me up and sort of kicked me in the @$$ about working and making my own money was when I didn't get financial aid and had to pay for school myself. I had to find a way of getting money to pay for school. That was a bitch! $1,200!!!I had to make a deal with my brother, Peter, to get the majority of it..I had to pitch in 600 on my own...and I had to get 200 from my parents...and lie to them. I also had to borrow money from my friend Ant. Also going out was a problem cuz that involves money, and though someone would always pay for me and stuff, I just felt bad...I am a person who likes paying for himself and treating others...yet I was the one being treated...and like I wouldn't want to go somewhere cuz I didn't have money but friends would still make me go places...just to chill..hang out...and yet again I would be treated to it. Also, birthdays came around and I had no money to pitch in. I couldn't be a part of the "big" gift...I would see the gift and have everyone on it except me. And I wanted to pitch in, but I had no money to pitch in. Enough was enough...it was time to get up and take responsibility and grow up. And I am thankful for this job. I am grateful that Edward's Cinema and Omar is giving me a chance and I don't want to let them down. I don't like to let anyone down...I like working and I like my job and I finally know how earning my own money feels like. I mean through all the hours I work...and even when I do something I don't like or don't want to..I handle it like I handle things in life...with a smile...regardless if I like to or not...Despite the long hours or lack there of, work is something I needed. I am a working man now!
Life is all right, but I am still tormented by my past. It seems like I have moved on, but any little thing will still remind me of Roy. And I still see and replay the whole day in my mind. I feel so much emotions. I am sad that you are gone...I am happy that you won't suffer everyday life...I am angry that the ocean took you...angry that you left...angry that life wasn't put on hold because losing you it felt like it should have been put on hold...Everything should have been put on hold..but it wasn't everything went on just like it would have when you were here...The day of the incident....March 14. 8 months have passed...still can't believe life goes on even when you aren't here. I still can't face the beach. I went back to the beach once...before school started. I thought that it would help me. The beach is different, and it didn't do much to help me. I mean face the thing that took my friend away...and almost took me but decided to spare me. I have not forgotten..and though I haven't visited him...or written about him..it doesn't mean I forgot him...and it does make things hard. But no matter what....you will never be forgotten!! We all miss you...we are just trying to get through life one day at a time...and though it seems like we are doing well and have moved one, noone or nothing will ever take the memory of you away from us! You are just too cool and special to be forgotten. You willl always live in our hearts! We miss you...we love you....I miss you...I love you....Rest in Peace...
Life is all right, but I am still tormented by my past. It seems like I have moved on, but any little thing will still remind me of Roy. And I still see and replay the whole day in my mind. I feel so much emotions. I am sad that you are gone...I am happy that you won't suffer everyday life...I am angry that the ocean took you...angry that you left...angry that life wasn't put on hold because losing you it felt like it should have been put on hold...Everything should have been put on hold..but it wasn't everything went on just like it would have when you were here...The day of the incident....March 14. 8 months have passed...still can't believe life goes on even when you aren't here. I still can't face the beach. I went back to the beach once...before school started. I thought that it would help me. The beach is different, and it didn't do much to help me. I mean face the thing that took my friend away...and almost took me but decided to spare me. I have not forgotten..and though I haven't visited him...or written about him..it doesn't mean I forgot him...and it does make things hard. But no matter what....you will never be forgotten!! We all miss you...we are just trying to get through life one day at a time...and though it seems like we are doing well and have moved one, noone or nothing will ever take the memory of you away from us! You are just too cool and special to be forgotten. You willl always live in our hearts! We miss you...we love you....I miss you...I love you....Rest in Peace...
Saturday, November 08, 2003
Gosh darnit...I was really sick on Friday, so like I didn't go to school...Missed a Chinese Quiz...ai yah...but I couldn't even get out of bed and it was horrible. Work is all right...making the dough...can't complain...and I got an A- on my essay...darn a damn minus..oh well...still got the A...anyways will post essay later...
Tuesday, November 04, 2003
Oct. 29: Phimy Truong...my Indie film buddy...hey there chick have a happy happy birthday! You are one cool chick and what is even cooler about you is taht you like the same movies I like..plus you hilarious!! haha..well have a good 19th.
Oct 31: Halloween Babies
Chris Reyes....hey homie...the second half of Rice and Beans...Guess which part is he? Arroz y Frijoles! Happy Brithday mang you chuntie! A great friend and always cracks me up. Have a good 19...you getting old you geezer! LOL
Marissa Ibarra: Hey mother!! You are finally legal!!! Happy Birthday Mer!! You are one loud and cool friend. Plus one mean mother..LOL...always punking me around...but like yeah..havent heard from ya in ages...good to see ya once again...Hope you liked your surprise party!!! Haha...take cars and don't change...you are one weird and funny girl...even though I am older than you...you will always be my mother...and my favoritest one too!!
Reading: The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks
Good book...finished it. Reminds me of someone...but she shall remain nameless....now moving on to Choke
Feelings and emotions going haywire........
Congrats to Shanon, Lysa, and Lyly on aquiring a JOB!!! Like OMG!! LOL...good luck you three UCLA Bruins!!
Oct 31: Halloween Babies
Chris Reyes....hey homie...the second half of Rice and Beans...Guess which part is he? Arroz y Frijoles! Happy Brithday mang you chuntie! A great friend and always cracks me up. Have a good 19...you getting old you geezer! LOL
Marissa Ibarra: Hey mother!! You are finally legal!!! Happy Birthday Mer!! You are one loud and cool friend. Plus one mean mother..LOL...always punking me around...but like yeah..havent heard from ya in ages...good to see ya once again...Hope you liked your surprise party!!! Haha...take cars and don't change...you are one weird and funny girl...even though I am older than you...you will always be my mother...and my favoritest one too!!
Reading: The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks
Good book...finished it. Reminds me of someone...but she shall remain nameless....now moving on to Choke
Feelings and emotions going haywire........
Congrats to Shanon, Lysa, and Lyly on aquiring a JOB!!! Like OMG!! LOL...good luck you three UCLA Bruins!!
Okay...haven't been on this for a while because I haven't had time or felt like typing on this. Work is taking up a lot of my time, and like I might even get another one. I might work at the South El Monte Public Library. Pretty cool, plus I can check books read books and do my homework as well!! So looking forward to that.
Work has been fun and I enjoy it plus I gets the money which isn't exactly a bad thing...LOL...the people are really cool. All of my coworkers and workers and bosses. The Matrix is coming out tomorrow and like it is going to be busy, but it's all right. I get to work Concession tomorrow so hurray! I have only been there for two weeks and it feels like I have done everything...Concession, door, usher, etc...like whoa...anyways...I didn't think I would enjoy having a job and assuming responsibility...but it is nice to know that I can handle it. I mean being responsible in high school and being responsible after high school are way different. While I was in high school, I was in many many clubs, and were officers for most of them, if not then I was a very active member. It was kind of easy to be responsible during high school because you had to be there, so it was just going to the different meetings during your lunch period. It wasn't like there was anything else to do. But after high school, that is when the real life kicks in. And the first indication of that is College. You have the choice of attending the classes that you pick. No one is there to force you to go to class...be on time...do well...so like me finally getting a job was a whole new task of responsibility for me. Sure, in interviews you can say you are reliable and responsible, but when it comes down to it, you have to prove that you are and I feel that I have done that so far in my first job. And from having no job for like 19 years of my life, I might have two jobs. That is really strange..it seems like a handful, including school, but I know I can do it.
School is going well still...hard to believe..I am behind in my English Class, but so far I am doing well in it as well. I got a 102 on my History Midterm out of 100. So that is really good, also I got a 94 on my Chinese Midterm and a 93 on my previous Chinese Quiz. I also put together a Chinese Study Group that has met once everyweek, regardless of how many people show up. Last Weeks theme was a potluck and was called "Nikki's: Reloaded" Due to the fact that the first "Dinner at Nikki's" was cancelled. Bio is my worst class...i got a D on my first test and got a C(1 point off from a B) on my second test...oh wellz..just gotta spend more time on Bio like I do on History, Chinese, and English.
~!~David Truong~!~
~!~October 29~!~
Happy Birtday David. Damn dog we were trash picker pals in the first grade and then we became close homies in the 6th grade. You have been one of my best friends even though we had our ish...thanks for always being a friend. Good to know that we don't let anything get in the way of our friendship. We have gone through a lot and will go through many more, one of Shively 6. One of the brothers. Hope you have a great 19. Finally you slow ass...just to let you know, once we hit 21 we ditching your @$$ to Vegas foo!! LOL....OCTOBER is a long wait to take advantage of our LEGAL Age 21 RIGHT!!! LOL...just messing dog...have a good one, and hope you enjoyed the presents...
Halloween: All right. I was never a big fan of Halloween. It was pointless to me back in the day, although I did get dressed up and stuff. I got dressed up mainly to make my friends laugh. I mean I am not really into buying a costume and like getting props and everything. I was a gurl one year and a nerd another. Just simple stupid things. It is all just a bunch of hype. Stores wanting you to waste money on another holiday...which probably was created by Hallmark...LOL...well I know there is background for Halloween, but it just seems to get lamer and more broing every year. There isn't anyhting new to do. Everything seems to be all played out and done before. I think this holiday is one where it is better to be a kid. I mean you can only go to Knott's Scary Farm, or Queen Mary and all those other Scary places a number of times before it gets old. And it seems that trick or treating is for little kids, either people wont give you candy because you are an adult or you just feel lame doing it. The next thing is Halloween costume parties...not that much of a thrill. But that is me personally speaking. many people enjoy this holiday...For me a good Halloween is one spent with the homies. Which brings me to my halloween....
I just started working on the 24th and I just got paid today, so during that time, I was broke. So buying a costume was out of the question though I did browse with my friends Anthony, Candy, and Cindy. They bought their stuff and like I had no money to buy my stuff, also Joanne was having a costume halloween party thing/b-day thing for David as well. And a costume was required...after watching TV, and seeing that Kit Kat commercial with that kid dressed as a mummy...i thought hey, I could be a mummy, and since I had no money to get the stuff needed to look like a mummy...I was resourceful and got toiletpaper!! Hurray! So I wrap myself in toilet paper and voila! I am a Mummy and so we take Candy's lil cuzin to go Trick or Treating. The day taht I decide to be resourseful and be a TOILET PAPER MUMMY..mother nature decides to "rain" on my parade...and rain it did, and there went my costume...LOL..it was funny though...and I did have fun leaving trails of TP on peoples yards...especially the ones who didn't give candy!! LOL...well we went to Arcadia and like went to 3 houses..got Candy and then went home...haha...fun fun fun...then I went to a Halloween party that included alot of my hispanic friends. Stayed there for an hour. That was when my friend Truong called me to pikc him up cuz he just got back from UCLA. So I borrow Anthony's costume, and it is a mother carrying a baby on her back..with the use of some blowup parts one person could be both. It looked really cool, and we we went to Joannes. Ate some good Fajitas and then watched Scary Movie and Friends. (a recording) It was a chill Halloween thing...left at 2 and then went back to the first Halloween party. Stayed for an hour..some drama happened which really killed the party, but I was tired...so I left at 4. And that was the end of my Halloween. It doesn't seem like much, but it was a good one because I got to see and chill with alot of my friends. Happy days!! That is all....
Work has been fun and I enjoy it plus I gets the money which isn't exactly a bad thing...LOL...the people are really cool. All of my coworkers and workers and bosses. The Matrix is coming out tomorrow and like it is going to be busy, but it's all right. I get to work Concession tomorrow so hurray! I have only been there for two weeks and it feels like I have done everything...Concession, door, usher, etc...like whoa...anyways...I didn't think I would enjoy having a job and assuming responsibility...but it is nice to know that I can handle it. I mean being responsible in high school and being responsible after high school are way different. While I was in high school, I was in many many clubs, and were officers for most of them, if not then I was a very active member. It was kind of easy to be responsible during high school because you had to be there, so it was just going to the different meetings during your lunch period. It wasn't like there was anything else to do. But after high school, that is when the real life kicks in. And the first indication of that is College. You have the choice of attending the classes that you pick. No one is there to force you to go to class...be on time...do well...so like me finally getting a job was a whole new task of responsibility for me. Sure, in interviews you can say you are reliable and responsible, but when it comes down to it, you have to prove that you are and I feel that I have done that so far in my first job. And from having no job for like 19 years of my life, I might have two jobs. That is really strange..it seems like a handful, including school, but I know I can do it.
School is going well still...hard to believe..I am behind in my English Class, but so far I am doing well in it as well. I got a 102 on my History Midterm out of 100. So that is really good, also I got a 94 on my Chinese Midterm and a 93 on my previous Chinese Quiz. I also put together a Chinese Study Group that has met once everyweek, regardless of how many people show up. Last Weeks theme was a potluck and was called "Nikki's: Reloaded" Due to the fact that the first "Dinner at Nikki's" was cancelled. Bio is my worst class...i got a D on my first test and got a C(1 point off from a B) on my second test...oh wellz..just gotta spend more time on Bio like I do on History, Chinese, and English.
~!~October 29~!~
Happy Birtday David. Damn dog we were trash picker pals in the first grade and then we became close homies in the 6th grade. You have been one of my best friends even though we had our ish...thanks for always being a friend. Good to know that we don't let anything get in the way of our friendship. We have gone through a lot and will go through many more, one of Shively 6. One of the brothers. Hope you have a great 19. Finally you slow ass...just to let you know, once we hit 21 we ditching your @$$ to Vegas foo!! LOL....OCTOBER is a long wait to take advantage of our LEGAL Age 21 RIGHT!!! LOL...just messing dog...have a good one, and hope you enjoyed the presents...
Halloween: All right. I was never a big fan of Halloween. It was pointless to me back in the day, although I did get dressed up and stuff. I got dressed up mainly to make my friends laugh. I mean I am not really into buying a costume and like getting props and everything. I was a gurl one year and a nerd another. Just simple stupid things. It is all just a bunch of hype. Stores wanting you to waste money on another holiday...which probably was created by Hallmark...LOL...well I know there is background for Halloween, but it just seems to get lamer and more broing every year. There isn't anyhting new to do. Everything seems to be all played out and done before. I think this holiday is one where it is better to be a kid. I mean you can only go to Knott's Scary Farm, or Queen Mary and all those other Scary places a number of times before it gets old. And it seems that trick or treating is for little kids, either people wont give you candy because you are an adult or you just feel lame doing it. The next thing is Halloween costume parties...not that much of a thrill. But that is me personally speaking. many people enjoy this holiday...For me a good Halloween is one spent with the homies. Which brings me to my halloween....
I just started working on the 24th and I just got paid today, so during that time, I was broke. So buying a costume was out of the question though I did browse with my friends Anthony, Candy, and Cindy. They bought their stuff and like I had no money to buy my stuff, also Joanne was having a costume halloween party thing/b-day thing for David as well. And a costume was required...after watching TV, and seeing that Kit Kat commercial with that kid dressed as a mummy...i thought hey, I could be a mummy, and since I had no money to get the stuff needed to look like a mummy...I was resourceful and got toiletpaper!! Hurray! So I wrap myself in toilet paper and voila! I am a Mummy and so we take Candy's lil cuzin to go Trick or Treating. The day taht I decide to be resourseful and be a TOILET PAPER MUMMY..mother nature decides to "rain" on my parade...and rain it did, and there went my costume...LOL..it was funny though...and I did have fun leaving trails of TP on peoples yards...especially the ones who didn't give candy!! LOL...well we went to Arcadia and like went to 3 houses..got Candy and then went home...haha...fun fun fun...then I went to a Halloween party that included alot of my hispanic friends. Stayed there for an hour. That was when my friend Truong called me to pikc him up cuz he just got back from UCLA. So I borrow Anthony's costume, and it is a mother carrying a baby on her back..with the use of some blowup parts one person could be both. It looked really cool, and we we went to Joannes. Ate some good Fajitas and then watched Scary Movie and Friends. (a recording) It was a chill Halloween thing...left at 2 and then went back to the first Halloween party. Stayed for an hour..some drama happened which really killed the party, but I was tired...so I left at 4. And that was the end of my Halloween. It doesn't seem like much, but it was a good one because I got to see and chill with alot of my friends. Happy days!! That is all....
